


Bitten

by TyrannosaurusRose



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Best Friends, Character Turned Into Vampire, F/F, Female Friendship, Female Protagonist, Female Relationships, Female-Centric, Post-Breaking Dawn, Sparklepires, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:09:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18662878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyrannosaurusRose/pseuds/TyrannosaurusRose
Summary: Rosalie saves Jessica's life by turning her into a vampire. But for Jessica, being the newest Cullen is more complicated than she ever dreamed.Set a few years after BREAKING DAWN, this one is for those of us who always wished Jessica Stanley (as played by Anna Kendrick) and Rosalie Hale (as played by Nikki Reed) could get a chance to sparkle in a story of their own. :)(Rating is PG-13 for an occasional bad word.)





	1. A Discordant Note - Rosalie's POV

"I thought you liked Rio," Emmett said.

"I do like Rio." My voice, still musical, held an unmistakable note of impatience.

"Then what's the problem, babe?"

I let out a ghost of a sigh, my eyes trained on my reflection in the vanity mirror. The woman staring back at me was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen, but there was a tightness in her expression that almost marred her perfection.

I pulled the nylon and boar bristle brush through my hair, relishing the smoothness as it glided down my locks. My hair wasn't out of place, but the brushing motion was still calming even after almost a hundred years. A reminder of my human life.

And a perfect excuse to stare at myself in the mirror, instead of turning back to face my husband of nearly 100 years.

In the corner of my vision, I could see Emmett's big bulk pacing around, always moving. Vampires didn't need to move around the way that humans did, but Emmett had always been in motion. Like a big animal just about to leap, no matter what he was doing.

He paced across our large bedroom, his big form forcing my eye when all I wanted to do was be alone.

But you were never alone in the Cullen house, not really.

And now everyone probably already knew that Emmett and I had been arguing for the last hour about where we should go for our yearly honeymoon vacation. We had skipped it several times since Renesmee's birth, but now that things had finally settled down with the Volturi and the wolf pack, it seemed safe enough for Emmett and me to go off together again.

And yet I couldn't bring myself to feel anything more than a passing interest in where we might go or what we might do.

Why wasn't I more excited?

My eyes flickered back to my face, regarding my reflection like a painting on a wall. The woman looked cool, impassive, and a little impatient, but still flawless. I had lt been beautiful as a mortal, but as a vampire, my face still looked almost unreal even to me. In a house full of impossibly powerful vampires, I was the least important of them all, easily the most expendable.

A beautiful shell. At least I could appreciate it, though.

"What about Nairobi?" Emmett loomed behind me, his expression hopeful in the mirror.

I raised a slim eyebrow at him, hoping that my total disinterest would be obvious. Nairobi was fine — anywhere was fine. I didn't care what we did, so long as this conversation could be put to rest.

Meanwhile, a second had passed, which was rather a long pause when it came to our family (and all vampires, really). And even after nearly a century, I still hadn't shed my distaste for it.

So much rushing. Everything moving at impossible speeds. It was maddening, really.

"What about Nairobi?" I said flatly.

"Duh. For our trip?"

I rolled my eyes, heaving a heavy sigh. Annoyance spurted through me, but less than a moment later, it occurred to me that I should be used to Emmett's inability to process sarcasm.

He had always been like this. Why should I mind it now?

He crossed his arms. "I don't get why you're making this so difficult, Rose."

I parted my lips, ready to snap back at him to just choose a damned country, already — but I managed to hold back.

Everyone in the house would hear the ensuing argument, including Renesmee.

I cocked my head a few degrees, listening for her light footsteps nearby. Sure enough, I found her in the woods about half a mile away, with Alice nearby.

Luckily, Edward was gone for the day, visiting the dog-boy in Portland, where he had started college classes a few weeks ago. If Edward had been anywhere nearby, he would probably have felt my frustration.

I shook my head. What I wouldn't give for some real privacy in this family.

Something must have flashed across my face ebecause Emmett's expression crumpled. Just for a moment, maybe even half of a moment, but my eyes took it in as keenly as everything else.

I was up on my feet before it even occurred to me that I had decided to go to him.

Standing close now, I looked up at him.

His beautiful, golden eyes were the color of amber on a sunny day, but the laughter that seemed to linger in them had dimmed somewhat as he stared back at me. His eyes widened, just as they always did, as they caught sight of my face, but the momentary amazement wasn't enough to overpower the almost vulnerable way he watched me.

My hand cupped his big cheek. His skin felt as smooth and perfect as any marble statue, but pleasantly warm.

Normally, I would have gotten onto the tips of my toes and kissed him, then everything that had been wrong between us would have melted away for hours, days, just as long as we were touching.

But the urge to kiss him didn't come.

Instead, I could feel something inside me shifting, changing. I didn't know what it was becoming. It had been so long since anything had changed inside of me.

Could vampires change at all?

I shook my head, stepping back from him in one graceful motion. "I need to run. Clear my head."

"I'll come with you. We can hunt together."

"No." My voice was a discordant note jabbing into the air.

Emmett actually winced.

"I need to think." I whirled away. My reflection in the mirror revealed a balletic motion, despite how ordinary it was. "I'd just like to be alone for a bit."

"Rose—"

"I'll be back soon." In a few short, graceful steps, I had jumped out of the open window and into the cool, night air.

My feet hit the ground with barely a sound, the light rush of displaced air the only hint of my landing. Even the small birds nearby barely ruffled their feathers.

I pushed off, my long limbs moving with the grace of a dancer as I ran deeper into the woods, losing myself in speed, the wind rushing through my golden locks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks a mint for reading the first chapter of my fanfic. If you're interested in a story centered around a deep, slow-burn connection between Jessica and Rosalie, you're in the right place! 
> 
> Because I write by the seat of my pants, many plot points are still to be determined. Like... *Will they or won't they? What happens after they do/don't? Which "they" am I even talking about here?* :) Since I'm not 100% sure about what's going to happen next, if there's anything you're thinking about, please let me know in the comments.
> 
> I love hearing from you guys. Thanks for being my inspiration!


	2. And Me Without My Breadcrumb Trail - Jessica's POV

The woods might have been lovely, dark, and deep, but the loud music and bright lights blaring out of the cabin made it hard for me to think of anything besides how ready I was to go home.

I frowned down at the red, plastic cup in my hand, into the watery yellowish depths of the lukewarm beer I had been trying to drink for the past twenty minutes.

No way did I have the energy to pretend to like this stuff.

Luckily, nobody else on the back deck seemed to care whether I was drinking.

If I were still in high school or even in college, someone nearby would probably have told me I was being lame, a walking party foul for not having any fun.

My nose wrinkled as I glanced around the large, wooden back deck full of kids.

A girl from my old high school smiled and waved hello from across the deck, and I did the same.

Neither of us came over to actually speak, which was fine by me.

I knew most of the people here, at least casually, and although the vibe at this party was pretty casual, I had started to feel a little claustrophobic inside the house. Going out onto the back deck had helped a little, but not enough.

The sounds of pounding steps and heavy breathing lumbered up behind me.

I managed to step out of the way just in time to avoid a collision with a girl and boy, both in their underwear, who were running toward the big, in-ground swimming pool a few yards away.

As they whipped by me, I caught a look at their smiling faces, but I didn't need to see their expressions to know they were happy. You could have felt the joy exploding off them like they were freaking radioactive.

SPLASH. The girl cannonballed into the pool.

CRASH. The boy did a belly-flop that made everyone flinch in sympathy.

A second later, the boy emerged and yelled, "I am a golden god!"

Cheers sprung up around me, and I felt a small smile slip onto my face. A few years ago, I would probably have been diving in right after them.

But now?

My smile faltered, and I turned away.

Seeping past the edges of the manicured yard, the lights from the house illuminated the treeline. Not far beyond that, the woods looked like a dark curtain.

I bristled. What was it with people and living in the woods? Personally, I had seen way too many horror movies to even think about living out here alone, thank you very much.

I sighed as the sounds of partying continued around me. The thrum of a bass guitar shook under my feet. Had the music always been so loud at these things?

Almost immediately, the thought made me feel old. But hold on. Was I allowed to feel old at 22?

It seemed weird and honestly kind of unfair. A few years ago, I would have killed for the kind of freedom I had now. Most of the old crew was back home in Forks — those of us who had left for college had landed back home shortly after graduation, hoping that our frantic job searches would lead to something real.

So far, no luck for me. Apparently being the valedictorian of a small, Washington high-school mattered about as much as being third-runner-up for Miss America. As for any of the work I had done during college, none of it had been enough to stand out in a sea of applications.

But hey, that was okay... I was back in Forks, right where I belonged.

"Yay," I muttered to myself, smirking.

I should have been thrilled to be at a big, loud party in some guy's big, fancy cabin.

Instead, I was just really, really ready to go home.

Maybe this was how Bella Swan had felt before getting whisked away by Edward Cullen. At their wedding a few years ago, Bella's mom had said something about her daughter being an "old soul."

At the time, I had rolled my eyes (I did that a lot around Bella), but now, I kind of knew what she meant.

Yeesh. No wonder Bella always acted like such a weirdo.

I slipped my cell phone out of my pocket. Crap. I had only been here for an hour or so. Angela definitely wouldn't want to leave yet.

Nearby, another boy (this one fully clothed) flopped into the pool. "Yee-haw!" His voice echoed into the woods.

And... I was done. Yup. As of right now, I was sure that the rest of tonight would be better spent in my PJs, preferably with some old episodes of Gossip Girl.

I went back into the house and into the kitchen.

My beer barely fizzled as I dumped it down the drain.

"Whoa, there," said a familiar voice. "Don't you know it's against the law in Washington to throw away beer?"

I turned. "Mike! I didn't know you'd be here."

Mike gave me the same wide grin he always had. He had barely changed in the past few years. "I'm just in town to visit my folks for a couple of weeks." He raised his eyebrows as if he expected me to ask why it was only a couple of weeks.

I chuckled. Somehow, Mike's lack of subtlety was charming, instead of annoying. "Off to something bigger and better?"

"Sort of. Dad wants me to take over the sporting goods store, but I'm moving up to Portland for a little while. You know, just to get out of Forks?"

I nodded. That sounded pretty darn good right about now.

"Hey, we should hang out while I'm here." Mike took the empty cup from my hand and tossed it easily into the trash can across the room.

"Definitely." I stepped aside. "I need to go and find Angela. See you later?"

"Sure." Mike tilted his head at me, looking a little confused, but waved goodbye.

I couldn't blame him for being surprised. I had spent most of high school bending over backwards to get his attention (at least, when I wasn't wasting time mooning over Edward Cullen). Bumping into me now, Mike had probably expected me to jump at the chance to see him alone.

I slipped through the crowd, carefully avoiding anyone who looked tipsy enough to slosh beer all over me and made my way the cabin's front foyer.

My coat was right where I had left it. I slipped it on and texted Angela that I was grabbing a ride home, so she shouldn't worry about me.

I had just hit SEND when I noticed how spotty the cell signal was out here.

I pulled up the Uber app and tried to call a car, but no dice — I would need to walk back to the main road, where my phone got steady reception.

"Reason #658 to not live in the woods," I mumbled to myself as I hoofed it down the long, gravel driveway that snaked through the woods toward the main road.

A cool wind whistled around me, raising goosebumps all over me. How close was I to the main road? The sounds from the party were still loud enough for me to make out the lyrics to the song playing so I couldn't have gone far.

I shivered and squinted into the trees.

If I remembered it right, the gravel path curved around and around, slipping between the tree growth. Wouldn't it make sense for me to just cut straight through?

Sure, it did.

I took out my cell phone, turned on the flashlight, and stepped into the trees.

The woods were quieter the deeper I wandered in. I made sure to take a straight line, never veering from it. The last thing I needed was to get lost.

"And me without my breadcrumb trail." I forced myself to chuckle in spite of the darkness around me.

Had Angela noticed I was gone yet? I doubted it. During college, she had shed her mousy demeanor and become a bit of a party girl. She was probably having the time of her life right now. As for me, it seemed like the opposite had happened (hence the whole Going Home Early to Wear Comfy Clothes and Watch Bad TV-thing).

I continued through the woods, a little pleased at how steadily I moved. Maybe I wasn't outdoorsy like some of the people I had grown up with, but I wasn't afraid of the forest.

And besides, I had been walking for at least ten minutes now. Soon, the gravel path would be in front of me.

Wouldn't it?

I stopped and bit my lip as I glanced around the (suddenly very dark) woods. There was nothing ahead of me but more trees, with no hint of the gravel driveway or the main road.

"No way," I whispered just as another part of me was starting to freak out.

I ordered myself to be calm. Because you know what? I was not lost. I had gone in a perfectly straight line. Who gets lost when taking a straight line?

And yet, the woods were still sprawled out in front of me, not even hinting at any break in the foliage.

The first tingles of fear crept up my spine, but I shrugged it off and whirled around, resolutely walking back the way I came.

My shortcut had been a bust.

So what?

All I had to do was find my way back to the gravel driveway and follow it up to the main road.

"Easy," I said, my voice only a little unsteady among the hum of the forest insects. I held my phone in front of me, the meager flashlight lighting my way.

The cool, artificial light caught on a pair of large, animal eyes that were way too close for comfort.

I gasped.

Something big but low to the ground crouched in front of me, creeping closer.

I tried to run—

But then the animal was on me, landing hard and knocking me on my back, its bulk pushing the air out of my lungs before I could even scream.


	3. Someone So Fragile - Rosalie's POV

The air tasted especially fragrant tonight, cool and fresh with hints of a coming rainshower from heavy, moist clouds a few miles off. Perhaps a mile away, in the forest below, a large bird, probably an owl, fluttered through the trees.

I leaned forward, letting my eyes dip closed as I tried to pick out their sounds from the symphony of natural music around me.

As soon as I decided I wanted to hear, there the sounds were: a soft flutter of wings beating in the air. So quiet that the mouse it plucked from the forest floor scarcely even heard it.

My attention pulled away as soon as the crush of bones in its claws crackled into my ears.

Not that I was squeamish. Far from it.

Still, I thought as I stood upon a high, craggy finger of rock that jutted off the steep side of the mountain, that didn't mean I had to revel in anyone's death. Even that of a mouse.

Perhaps that was silly of me. Weak. A little habit from my mortal life that clung to me like a fading scent.

I hoped it would stay.

At the same time, I hoped I would forget it. I felt cloudy enough already, thanks.

Up here, even in the darkness of the night, the moon's illumination was enough for my eyes to take in the multitude of details in the forest below.

For an hour, it had been enough to bring me a welcome distraction.

Soon enough, though, my strange doubts crept back in as they always seemed to.

I pulled in a long breath, the crisp, clean air pleasant in my lungs. It was so nice to be alone with my thoughts, truly alone. A rare treat in a life that should have been filled with wonder.

And it had been... But not lately. Over the past few months and perhaps even years, something had been shifting inside of me.

But I loved my family. Of course, I did. What would I even be without them?

_Aside from long-dead after bleeding out in an alley?_

Smirking, I rolled my eyes at the bitterness that crept into my thoughts. Of course, I was grateful that Carlisle had rescued me. However, I wouldn't have chosen this life for myself.

But with Renesmee's arrival, a new feeling of life had come into the house. And maybe into me, too, if such a thing were possible.

And yet, as I stood there alone on the side of the mountain, I couldn't help wondering what it would be like to explore the world in a different way — without my family nearby or even Emmett by my side.

Above me, the sky hung over the world like a dark, starry dome. My own, personal planetarium. I had thought the stars were shining down on me as a mortal, but that had never been anything compared to what I could see now.

My fingers traced out all the constellations I knew, telling myself the stories behind them. So many stories of ordinary boys and girls, rescued or ruined by gods who just happened to be in the area.

My smile soured.

Before my thoughts could take an even darker turn, I jumped down from my perch. Air rushed around me, a pleasant coldness that left frost against the tips of my fingers.

I landed with a gentle whoosh on the forest floor, then broke into a run within a tenth of a second. Unlike Jasper or Alice, I wasn't the fastest in our family, but maybe I could outrun my thoughts for now.

A few miles off, the sounds of too-loud music split the air, like an ax striking a tree.

"Humans," I muttered, shaking my head. Perhaps they were only loud because they couldn't hear very well, but did their music have to be such noise pollution?

I had just started veering slightly away from the normally empty cabin when the snarl of a mountain lion cut into my awareness, followed by the sounds of ripping flesh.

Then the sweet, intoxicating scent of human blood floated over to me.

My body changed course to follow the scent of the blood. My teeth gnashed and the ever-present thirst in my throat flared to life.

"No!" I heard myself growl.

I came to such an abrupt stop that the cluster of saplings in front of me rocketed into the air.

Meanwhile, the scent of human blood still hung in the air.

Someone nearby, perhaps only a few miles away, was getting hurt. Now that I was listening for it, the sounds of the animal ripping flesh were loud in my ears.

No screaming followed. Whoever was being torn apart must have been taken by surprise.

I balled my hands into fists, willing myself to move far, far away from this human who'd had an unfortunate, but sadly unsurprising, turn of events.

What could I do now?

The trees swayed in a light breeze that brought in more of the sweet scent of human blood. If I rushed in to help, would I even be able to control my thirst? And, if I did, wouldn't that hurt more than help?

The others would be better at this. Carlisle or Bella — but even with our speed, they might be too far away. It would be too late.

One thing was certain: if I ran off now, a human life would end.

The rest of my doubts evaporated.

I ran hard for the mountain lion and its unfortunate prey, slashing the distance between us in a renewed burst of speed.

The mountain lion crouched over a crumpled small human, the air singing with the human's life essence.

I pulled my thoughts back into working order. I would  _not_  let my thirst get the best of me.

The big cat's ribs were visible through its patchy fur. Old and desperate, it had wandered too close to civilization for any healthy predator.

The human beneath him must have stumbled into the wrong place at the wrong time.

The big cat's shoulders stiffened as he caught my scent.

But I was already flying through the air, my arms outstretched. I landed beside him and knocked him away easily.

The human girl laying bloodied on the forest floor was scratched almost beyond recognition, but something in her eyes seemed familiar.

My brain made the connection in the blink of an eye. Jessica Stanley, a girl from Forks High School. Somehow, she looked both older and younger now, as frail and small as a bird but with an unmistakable fierceness in her eyes in spite of her injuries.

Her blue eyes shone brightly even as her blood gushed a dark crimson.

I looked away, pinching shut my lips and trying not to breathe in through my nose. I didn't need the oxygen — even if my body relished the scent of Jessica's human blood.

She was tiny in my arms, weighing almost nothing.

I ran hard for my home, the wind so cool and sharp that Jessica shivered. Or perhaps that was just her body going into shock.

I ran harder.

Even so, the scent of sweet blood lingered around us like a shroud. But it didn't matter. No, it didn't matter at all. I had made a promise to myself, my family.

In my arms, Jessica tried to speak, but her words were merely sputtering noises.

"Don't exert yourself," I said evenly, not looking down at her.

Jessica sputtered again.

The little human was going to kill herself if she exerted herself any more. She had lost too much blood to get worked up, and yet somehow, this stubborn girl was managing to do so.

Jessica kept sputtering, trying to form some kind of sentiment. "D-don't... leh..."

"Be quiet," I hissed, then looked down at her sternly.

The expression on Jessica's face stilled my thoughts. I had seen this look once before, shining in Emmett's eyes when I had found him in the woods that day, also on the brink of death.

"D— Don't... let... me... d... d..."

"I won't," I told her, but the light in Jessica's eyes was fading as each second passed.

How far were we from the house? Another five minutes of hard running, maybe less.

Too much time to risk it.

The sweet scent of Jessica's blood made my mouth water, a pang of craving so heavy that my stomach twisted. My body wanted this...

I looked deep into her eyes, so fierce even as the light in them was dimming.

Her face was brave, but pleading, though she couldn't know what she was asking of me.

 _I will never hurt you,_  I promised silently, not trusting my voice to remain steady.

How could I ever hurt someone so fragile?

I leaned down and bit her neck, pouring my venom into the open wound.


	4. Saved and Damned - Rosalie's POV

The heart monitor sounded a frantic rhythm, a hurried song that never quite found its beat. It was like Morse code, but even more sporadic.

Another minute and it was going to drive me mad.

Not to mention the unmistakable smell of blood still lingering in the air in spite of Carlisle's chemical interventions.

I didn't move.

A few feet away, Jessica lay bloody and tied down on a gurney, struggling vainly against her restraints as if she were having a terrible nightmare.

The morphine had helped, somewhat. When I had brought her into our home an hour ago, my venom had just seeped into her veins and she had started screaming in torment. Her current state was an improvement, but I didn't want to imagine the pain she must have been in right now.

"It looks like you got her here just in time," Carlisle said as he walked back into the makeshift clinic we had set up downstairs. It was the same space we had used for Bella's delivery.

Now, another young girl was laying there, tiny and weak, as vampire venom raged in her veins. I had carried her in just the way I had carried in Emmett all those years ago.

Tonight was quite a night for deja vu, it seemed.

Carlisle went to Jessica's side, checking the machinery hooked up to her tiny form. Had she always been so small?

At Forks High School, she had been one of the shorter girls, not much past five feet. Now, she seemed almost doll-like, in spite of the occasional groans that she uttered.

A big hand rested against my shoulder.

I jumped, surprised I hadn't noticed Emmett's entrance. It took a lot to distract me that much.

Emmett's lips tightened into a sympathetic wince, his eyes asking me how I was doing. We had been together so long that we almost didn't have to speak.

But even that silent exchange was too much. I shook my head, turning back to Jessica.

To the girl I had saved and damned, all at the same time.

I rested my hand on top of Emmett's, appreciating its weight and comfort. The only thing that might have helped me more was the presence of my mother, but Esme was still making her way back home, her visit to our cousins in Alaska cut unexpectedly short because of me.

She wanted to be here to welcome our newest family member. That is if Jessica chose to stay.

The vague tang of Jessica's blood still lingered on my lips, though I had washed my mouth out with bleach as soon as I possibly could have, hoping the harsh chemicals might burn away the taste.

The bleach had done its job, but it hadn't been enough to destroy the memory.

Perhaps the fact that I was still standing here in bloodstained clothes didn't exactly help matters. As soon as I had a moment, I would slip away and burn these clothes.

For now, the idea of leaving Jessica's side felt wrong, somehow.

I had consigned her to this fate, one way or the other. I couldn't leave her now. And in ten years or twenty years or fifty years, if and when she grew to hate me, I would need to stay by her side, too.

Would she hate me?

Beside me, Emmett was warm and solid and kind.  _He_  didn't hate me. Not everyone thought immortality was such a heavy yoke.

I squeezed his hand.

Bella and Renesmee appeared at the door, hand in hand. Nessie's big, beautiful eyes were wide as she regarded Jessica.

"She shouldn't be here." My tone came out harsher than I had intended.

Nessie's face wavered, sending a ripple of regret through me. I locked eyes with Bella. "She shouldn't have to see this."

"We're here to help," Bella explained, her voice soft and musical, a peaceful song inside this theater of pain.

I hesitated. Nessie shouldn't be here to see what I had done, and yet, Jessica was our responsibility now. Wasn't she?

Bella's deep, golden eyes searched my face as if trying to read my thoughts.

As a human, Bella had been all knees and elbows, awkward like a baby deer. As a vampire, all the human vulnerability in her had been scrubbed away, and she looked as strong and beautiful as a statue.

At her side, Nessie seemed even more human, in spite of her preternatural beauty. She had grown into a physical age of about fourteen, but her serious expression made her look far older for a moment.

Nessie let Bella's hand go and walked to me. Her eyes sought mine. "Aunt Rose, I want to help her."

"Nessie..." I began, not sure of what to say.

Edward arrived suddenly, a faint blur outside the floor-to-ceiling windows just hinting at his arrival. He appeared at Bella's side, bringing with him the smells of the forest, plus a familiar hint of wet dog that he had undoubtedly picked up while visiting Jacob Black in Portland this evening.

Briefly, I wondered how my friend, the mongrel, was doing. He had just gotten settled in at college.

With a start, I realized that I might actually have started to miss him. If anything, his wisecracks would have been some kind of a distraction from my worry.

Edward nodded at me, no doubt having heard everything that was going through my mind, even from a distance.

Blast it.

At least no one had to explain to him what was going on, though. I simply didn't have the strength for that right now.

Edward's eyes lingered on Jessica, their depths annoyingly unreadable. For someone who knew what everyone else was thinking, he was awfully stingy with his own thoughts.

At that, his lip curled for a slip of a moment. Then his face turned somber again as he looked to Nessie. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"She's hurting, Daddy. I can help a little, can't I?"

Edward glanced back at me.

I wanted to argue, to find some reason to keep Renesmee away from here. But she had already seen what was happening. At least someone in this family didn't have to feel as helpless as I felt right now.

I nodded.

Nessie approached gracefully, her coltish limbs moving without any hint of the adolescent awkwardness that was so present in her mother. She never took her eyes off Jessica, despite the girl's heavy injuries.

"What are you going to show to her, love?" Bella asked.

"All the good thoughts I can remember." Nessie lifted her hands and laid them gently against Jessica's midsection, which had largely been spared from the mountain lion's claws. She took a long breath, then closed her eyes.

Jessica's groans quieted to a whimper, and her struggling relaxed.

Some of the guilt and worry that had stationed itself inside of my shoulders unwound slightly. A moment of relief for both of us, it seemed.

Not that I truly deserved it.

I took some comfort that it was just a tiny spoonful of relief, a handful of pebbles in the landslide of worry that existed inside of me.

A few minutes, Nessie was finished for now. Her eyes were shadowed and her posture a little less straight, this had clearly taken a toll from her.

Guilt pinched inside of me again, but I gave her a grateful look. "Thank you, angel. Maybe you should rest now?"

Bella, Edward, and Renesmee walked away to their quiet, little cottage in the woods. I hoped they would find some peace and quiet there, after the commotion I had brought into our family tonight.

Carlisle watched Jessica and studied the machines for a long while, his expression blank but serious. Professional even now.

Much as I wanted to ask how Jessica was doing, I knew quite well what the answer would be. The girl was stable, of course, but in unimaginable pain as my venom made its way inexorably through her body.

When the first lights of dawn began to filter into the room, turning Jessica's pale, almost bloodless skin a warm gold, Carlisle left to begin his shift at Forks Hospital.

I didn't move. How long had it been since I had? It must have been hours.

Emmett still stood by my side, his hand still on my shoulder. "You want to talk about what happened now?"

"No."

"Didn't think so." His mouth pressed to one side. "You want to get some air?"

"I'm not leaving her alone."

"You wouldn't be. I'll stay with her."

"That's not necessary."

"Rose, come on. You don't have to stay here the whole time. It'll be at least a few days until she wakes up."

"I know that." My voice was flat. I hoped it showed my disinterest in discussing this any further.

"I know what you're doing." He withdrew his hand, leaving a brief cold spot on my shoulder, and crossed his big arms over his wide chest. "You're going to stand here, wallowing in guilt."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." He shifted to stand in front of me, obscuring my view of Jessica. "I won't let you."

I raised an eyebrow at Emmett, daring him to do something about it.

Almost immediately, his shoulders sagged, and he stepped aside. "Promise me you won't hate yourself over this."

"I can't promise you anything."

On the table, Jessica shifted and mumbled something unintelligible, some word or fragment of a word that I could only guess at.

Did she need more morphine? Would it even truly help?

"You don't have to do this," Emmett said again.

"Yes, I do." I gritted my teeth as I stared at the sweaty, twitching girl on the gurney, her weak, human body still slashed and mangled. The venom was working slowly but steadily, from the inside out, concentrating within her failing organs. She would be in tatters for hours. Days, possibly.

But I refused to move. On the off-chance that she did wake soon, I wanted to be the first thing she saw.

To thank, to blame, or maybe even to hate.


	5. Like an Ocean - Jessica's POV

My whole world was pain. Every part of me was crackling, lit up like a bonfire.

At first, I tried to cling to whatever part of me was left, to stop myself from losing my mind in the heat and the pain that flared all over me.

I didn't want to be consumed, and I fought it as hard as I could.

My body was a torture chamber, each little twitch sending a fresh wave of heat over me. But I couldn't stay still — every muscle in my body twisted and twitched, spasming.

I wanted to scream. My mind was shrieking, but somehow, my voice was dulled.

As the first shocks of heat and pain bore through me, I tried to make myself forget. As if that were even possible. But I tried, anyway. And if anything could help me, it would be the angel.

She had been the one to find me in the woods and knock away the animal that had attacked me. She had been the one to carry me off to...?

This couldn't have been Hell. Why had the angel come at all if she were taking me to be punished?

I clung to the memory of the beautiful angel, with her golden hair and perfect face, but soon, the pain ripped even that away.

Pain spiraled through me, I didn't know for how long.

Then a moment of sweet relief — my mind slipped back to some memory of a green forest, the gentle babble of a brook and a dozen little birds hopping on the ground, curious as they edged toward me.

It was a beautiful vision, but something about it felt wrong like it belonged to someone else.

But I wasn't scared. Maybe I was just happy to have another distraction from the pain.

But then my moment of peace was ripped away like a scrap of paper snatched out of my hands. The heat and the pain returned, fiercer this time, like it was angry that I had managed to chase it away for a few seconds.

I sank into endless pain.

Swimming in it, drowning in it.

Pain like an ocean, as far as the eye could see...


	6. Waiting - Rosalie's POV

The third morning of Jessica Stanley's transformation dawned just the same as the ones before it: with me hovering nearby, watching and waiting, my eyes trained on the girl.

She had stopped screaming yesterday evening, even though she had long since burned off the morphine.

Now, she lay almost still, though she continued to shift and grumble, beset by some terrible dream that she was no doubt trying to break free from.

"Soon," I whispered, almost taking a step closer. But my guilt and my fear kept me back in the same spot I had been standing in, unmoving, for the past few days.

On the second day, I had remembered to change out of my dirty clothes and into something not covered by blood. I didn't want to bother Jessica when she woke. The girl would likely be frightened enough without being greeted by a blood-covered stranger.

Meanwhile, yesterday Bella and Renesmee had gone to Portland for a quick visit to Jacob. Bella had wanted to be here to greet Jessica, but Renesmee's almost-human blood might be too much for a newborn vampire to handle.

Better safe than sorry.

And better alive in some form than utterly dead... At least, that's what the rest of the family seemed to believe as they made their preparations to welcome Jessica as a Cullen.

I hoped Jessica would agree, but it was hard to say. I knew so little about her.

Emmett's lumbering steps, heavy for a vampire, preceded him. "If you don't move around a little, you're going to turn into stone," he said in a smiling voice.

I didn't bother to laugh. I was too tired. My body didn't feel the effects of standing here for days, of course, but my mind didn't have much left beyond worry and guilt, topped with more worry.

In the corner of my eye, I caught Emmett's smiling lips turning down into the briefest of frowns before relaxing again.

Strange. A few years ago, he would have been crushed by the way I had just ignored him. I frowned, thoughtful. Shouldn't I be more upset about his indifference?

I shook my head almost imperceptibly and focused my attention on the girl again.

Nothing mattered except for Jessica's change.

She was my daughter, my sister, maybe my enemy — it all depended on how Jessica would feel about the new life I had ushered her into.

Back in the woods, she had seemed like she was pleading to live. But had I judged correctly? Humans were strange, sometimes. Their frailty could make them say and do things they didn't really mean, and being attacked by a mountain lion could cloud anyone's judgment.

I wondered what the girl on the table was thinking. That is, if she were thinking of anything other than the burning pain that had been shooting through her.

Alice and Jasper had returned from Denali two days ago, and Alice had wasted no time dressing Jessica in a couture, black-and-grey striped dress with a knee-length, flared skirt. The neckline plunged down Jessica's now-healed chest, but in a surprisingly tasteful manner. Then Alice had pulled back Jessica's hair in a loose partial, the golden brown highlights in full display.

As a human, she had been pretty and perhaps would even have become beautiful after a bit more living. As a vampire, now that the venom had healed all of her wounds, Jessica looked like a finely crafted porcelain doll, dressed to perfection.

The only strange thing about her was how quiet she had become. Whenever I had seen her at Forks High School, she had always been lively and moving.

A chatterbox.

As Jessica mumbled something in her sleep, I couldn't help the hint of a smile that creased my lips. Perhaps some things never changed...

"She's beautiful," Emmett breathed as he stood beside me.

When had he come over to me? I blinked, frowning at my own lack of awareness. I was a vampire, for goodness' sake. My senses never failed me, and yet I had let myself get distracted again by the sleeping girl.

"I mean, not as beautiful as  _you,_  Rose," Emmett blurted, looking a little worried.

I tilted my head. Did he actually think I was jealous? I was vain but not  _that_  vain.

Emmett's nose wrinkled in that nervous way he did whenever he had accidentally stumbled into saying the wrong thing. It was a look I had seen a million times, and I couldn't help drifting closer to him because of it.

"It's fine, Emmett. I wasn't worried about that." I offered him a smile.

His eyes widened at the sight of me, just the way they always did, and he leaned in and planted a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth.

My sweet, well-meaning Emmett. He never really had a knack for guessing what was on my mind. I used to think that was charming, but now...?

I tore my thoughts away, not ready to think about that right now. There was too much else to worry about.

Thank goodness the rest of the family were all out hunting. The last thing I needed was a mind reader and my two perceptive parents nearby to witness my confusion.

Emmett's dark eyes flickered between Jessica and me, now almost black because of a lack of blood.

"You should go on the hunt." I brushed my fingers against the strong planes of his jaw. "We'll need everyone's strength if Jessica turns out to be a violent newborn."

"Aren't you hungry, too?"

"I'll wait until everyone else comes back."

"You shouldn't be alone with her. What if she wakes up?"

"You won't be far. Besides, if anyone stands a chance at overpowering her, it would be you and Jasper. But only if you're well-fed."

Emmett's brow furrowed, and he glanced at Jessica again. "Why don't  _you_  go, then? I can stay here."

"I'm not going anywhere."

He looked back to me, his dark eyes narrowing slightly. "Someone else can be here to greet her, you know."

My spine stiffened. Was he actually jealous? The moment I found myself wondering, I pushed the idea away. "We don't have time for this. I'm not leaving this room. I'll have some of Carlisle's bagged animal blood soon. I'm fine."

"Really? You usually turn your nose up at it."

"Well, some things are more important than my culinary preferences."

Emmett opened his mouth but didn't speak. After a second, he shook his head and walked to the door, lingering there. "I love you," he said in a tone that I couldn't put a name to.

It sounded like resignation, but more... Tired?

He was gone, then, slipping away at a speed that would have been just a blur to a human eye.

"I love you, too," I told him, knowing he would hear me even from a distance. But for the first time, ever, the words felt different on my tongue. As if an odd spice had been sprinkled onto the phrase.

And then I was alone with the girl, waiting.


	7. A Scent Like Fear - Jessica's POV

...And then, my pain was gone.

I almost couldn't believe it.

It was like when you walk through the woods, and the trees are thick in your vision. You can't see anything else. But then, suddenly, the trees break and you can see beyond them.

My pain receded like waves from a beach.

Whatever was left of my mind was weak, but it flailed for shore, anyway.

I opened my eyes and saw...

Everything.

For the first time.

My mouth fell open — at least, I think it did. Even my skin felt different. The action of my jaw smoother.

But that was nothing compared to the gorgeous specks of light that floated before me. The rays of sunshine were different colors, and yet somehow clear. What  _was_  that?

I wanted to get up and reach for a speck of floating dust, but then I noticed the odd feeling of the material draped across me. What was I wearing?

The last thing I remembered putting on was some kind of shirt and jeans combination, but when I tried to call the memory back with any clarity, I felt like I was trying to watch something on a scrambled TV signal.

Whatever was on my body now felt heavy and coarse, but not itchy. My fingers twitched against something beneath them, reveling in the smoothness and awed by the distinct feel of each, individual fiber.

I took a breath.

The air tasted good, clean, but flavored with something I couldn't name.

Wait, why did the air  _taste_  like anything at all?

And, more importantly, where the heck was I?

I had barely started to scratch the surface of that question when the air in the room shifted against my skin.  _Someone is moving across the room._

I didn't know  _how_  I knew it, but suddenly, my body was on red alert.

Bolting upward, I sailed through the air and kicked away something small and metal and very, very light.

A gurney? What the—?

Sounds of crashing metal and beeping machines filled my ears, along with with the sounds of a bird's flapping wings, the gentle hum of an air conditioner, and a half-dozen other sounds filling the air.

My mind should have been tearing itself apart, trying to figure out the source of each sound.

But then I caught sight of the angel across the room, and nothing else mattered but her.

"Jessica, wait," she said, her voice a lilting birdsong.

I knew this woman. I had seen her before, but somehow, I had also never seen her before in my life. The girl I had known as Rosalie Hale had been beautiful, but this version of Rosalie was otherworldly.

Her face was a perfect, symmetrical sculpture, so flawless she nearly looked unreal. Her blonde hair was like golden honey shining in the sun, and I nearly got lost in its rich color. But the most incredible thing happened as a ray of sunlight hit her perfect skin.

Rosalie sparkled like she was made of a hundred thousand stars plucked from the night sky.

I felt myself reach forward, unable to stop myself, drawn to her beauty like a moth to a flame.

And then, suddenly, I was flying across the room and crashing into Rosalie, as if my brain and my body were instantly connected.

We crashed into the wall in a tangle of limbs.

As I tried to brace myself, my open hand pushed through the dark wood as easily as I would have pressed through the thin shell of a meringue.

"Rosalie? What happened? Where—?" An equally musical voice stuttered to a stop. Was that  _my_  voice?

"Calm down." Rosalie's golden eyes locked with mine. They were the color of fire and amber and—

I was almost ready to lose myself again, but then I jerked my thoughts back into focus. Glancing around, I realized where I was.

The Cullen house. I knew it in my bones. It smells just like them.

Hold on. Why did the Cullens have a smell?

Rosalie's eyes widened as she stared at me, looking somewhere between amazed and fearful.

But how could she be afraid of me? Was I some kind of monster now?

A scent like fear wafted off her, an undertone of the sweet scents of honey and lilac that filled my nose.

I took a deep breath — or tried to. My lungs were full. I nearly gasped as I realized that I still hadn't let out the breath I had taken before.

Why wasn't I breathing?

I pulled myself backward. What was supposed to be only a small motion resulted in me flying backward through the air. Just before I would have hit the messy pile of machines across the room, I managed to land on my feet and crouch low to the ground.

The animalistic pose felt perfect, as strange as it must have looked.

Something inside of me had changed. I didn't know what, but the reality of what had happened to me (even if I didn't know any of the facts) crashed down inside of me like an avalanche.

Across the room, Rosalie's perfect face flinched for half a second, maybe  _half_  of half a second. It was such a small motion that I knew I shouldn't have seen it, but somehow I had in perfect clarity.

Somehow, I could see  _everything_  with perfect clarity, except for what was really going on.

"What's happening to me?" said a song-like voice.

 _My_  voice.

Wasn't it?


	8. Perfect - Rosalie's POV

Seven days later, the house was  _finally_  quiet.

This past week had been filled with endless talk and discussion, with Carlisle and Esme leading the way as Jessica asked a million questions.

What had happened to her?

What had she turned into?

What was this terrible burning in her throat?

Jessica had agreed to vegetarianism immediately, faster than any of us could have expected. Still, I couldn't help worrying that this might be too much for her. This life could be too much for anyone, even if you had groomed yourself for it like Bella.

Standing in my bedroom, staring down at the early-afternoon light shining through the trees, I wondered how Bella and Renesmee were doing. They were both still in Portland as a precaution, though I hoped that would change soon.

My eyes found my reflection in the glass. My expression had pinched the way it had been so often lately. A part of me wanted to pin on a smile, in spite of everything.

My special ability might not be much, but it was  _mine._  And if beauty was all I had, then I may as well embrace it.

But I couldn't bring a smile to my face.

I continued scowling at myself, even though I had no real right to do so. Jessica was doing remarkably well, her newborn temperament almost as even as Bella's.

Something about those little girls from Forks...

I shook my head and turned away, loping across the room to retrieve my laptop.

The rest of the family had taken Jessica on another hunt, another test of her control around human scents. She wasn't ready yet to appear in public, but that might change sooner than later. Her lack of overwhelming bloodlust was a good thing, certainly, though all the training she had been doing with the rest of the family had made it much easier for me to avoid her.

And yes, I had been avoiding her.

At least I could admit it to myself, now that Edward was out of the house.

Naturally, Jessica was thrilled with being a vampire. The first days were always a high, one not unlike sating a thirst. Not that Jessica would ever truly understand how  _that_  would feel since she had agreed to join the family as a vegetarian.

A little ping of guilt jabbed at me as I opened up the lid of my laptop and logged in.

I had never tasted human blood myself. Even when I had bitten Jessica, I had been careful not to get the blood anywhere near my tongue. But I was no stranger to cravings, and as the years passed, I started to realize what I had been missing.

Jessica would feel the same, eventually.

How would I explain that to her? How would I explain  _any_  of this to her?

I wished I could run. Perhaps I could go to Portland later tonight to visit Nessie, Bella, and Jacob. Esme had left an hour ago on the same errand. I could catch up and join her.

But no. That didn't feel right. As much as I had tried my best to avoid being alone with Jessica since she had woken up, running away to Portland felt strangely like abandonment.

I checked an email address I had started secretly, one that I only checked when Edward was gone. The last thing I needed was for him to ask about my ridiculous flights of fancy.

In my inbox, I found messages from the private detective I had hired to find the descendants of my friend Vera, starting with baby Henry. A fire in our Boston neighborhood a few decades ago had destroyed many of the public records, but my detective had been working hard to find the family's whereabouts.

It was silly of me to care, really, but perhaps there was something I could do from afar to make their lives easier. Tuitions to pay? Businesses to fund? Houses to buy?

Just the thought of reaching out, even anonymously, brought a small smile to my face.

The sounds of excited whooping and heavy footsteps from a distance made me quickly log off, clear the browser data, and shut off the computer.

Less than a minute later, my family had arrived from their hunt.

Carefully, I cleared my mind of any thoughts of Vera's family, focusing instead on how annoyingly loud the house seemed to be again.

"Rose! Come on out!" Emmett called up.

Annoyance spurted through me. I hadn't intended to stay hidden in our room, but then again, I wouldn't have emerged so quickly, either. If I'd had my druthers, I would have waited until Jessica was somewhere else.

I wandered out onto the second-floor landing, then down a few stairs. I lingered by the mural of graduation caps and stared down at my family.

Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were all standing in a loose clot around Jessica, each of them congratulating her on a successful second hunt.

In the middle of them, Jessica smiled almost shyly, though the pride beamed off her like sunshine.

As a vampire, not much of Jessica had changed. Her warm, brown hair still held the same naturally golden brown highlights, though her hair was glossier and wavier now, hanging around her slim shoulders like a silk curtain. Her face was nearly unchanged, with only a few, subtle shifts.

The vampiric Jessica looked remarkably, amazingly, surprisingly  _human_... And yet so perfect.

 _Amazing,_  I thought, staring down at the newborn. I was almost proud, though that made very little sense.

It took me an extra moment to notice that Jessica was covered with a messy spray of what smelled like elk blood.

Jessica's bright eyes found mine, and I felt it hit my body like an electric shock. She offered me a smile.

I glanced away, feeling myself edge backward.

"The girl's a freakin' natural," Emmett declared, wrapping a brotherly arm around Jessica.

"Yeah, well," Jessica chuckled, "maybe next time I won't come back looking like an extra from a bad horror movie."

Everyone laughed.

"You'll catch on, Jessica," said Carlisle.

"He's right." Edward nodded. "You're making remarkable progress."

"Yes," Jasper said, his serious tone cutting through the mirth, "she is."

We all turned to Jasper, watching him as he considered his next words. Jasper didn't speak as often as some of us, but when he did, we all listened.

Jasper looked to Carlisle and nodded. "She's ready, Carlisle. I can feel it."

Carlisle grinned. "Perfect. I'll let Esme know it's time for Bella and Renesmee to come home."

"I'll come to pick them up myself if you don't mind," Edward said, barely pausing before he ran in the direction of the garage, moving so fast that he was almost a blur.

Alice jumped and clapped her hands together, the graceful movement making her all but floating in the air like a pixie. "Give me three hours to plan the party," she called after Edward, then leaped up to the second-floor landing. She disappeared into her office less than a second later.

A party, one in which I would be crowded into a room with my family. My family... Which now included Jessica Stanley, the girl I didn't know what to say to. With no excuse to run off to Portland, I was stuck.

"Perfect," I heard myself say, my voice as hard as a shard of broken glass.

As I turned away, I caught only the barest glimpse of Jessica's hurt face, but my clear, vampire vision allowed me to take it all in.

Dammit.


	9. Not Entirely a Stranger - Jessica's POV

A little less than a week into being a vampire, the girl staring back at me in the mirror was starting to look more familiar. She didn't exactly look like me, but at least she wasn't entirely a stranger.

Instead, she looked like someone that I had seen before, maybe at a family reunion. Like some super-pretty, super-perfect cousin from France or something that I had always wished I could be besties with, but had never approached because I assumed she wouldn't be interested in me.

But now, I was that girl. All it had taken was getting mauled by a mountain lion and turned into a vampire.

You know, your usual Cinderella story.

I turned a little and stared at myself into the full-length mirror in my new bedroom, considering my new self. I should have been overjoyed to look so perfect. Seriously, it was like I was Photoshopped or something.

But I couldn't help missing my old reflection with her too-long nose, her visible pores, and her crooked little tooth.

A pang of sadness threatened to hit me, but I shook my head and focused instead on the canary yellow silk dress I was wearing. My new face and body might still be strangers to me, but at least they were well-dressed strangers.

I ran a finger along the plunging neckline, savoring the feeling of each tiny strand woven together. Somehow, becoming a vampire had changed my body enough so that I actually filled out the bodice of this dress.

"Bye-bye, chicken cutlets," I muttered, thinking of the falsies I had bought with Angela during a particularly giggly trip to Port Angeles a few years ago.

The girl in the mirror smiled, and for a second, I was actually dazzled by my reflection.

Vain as it was, at least it was an interesting change of pace from standing in front of the mirror and scrutinizing every little imperfection. Now, as a vampire, I didn't seem to have even a hair out of place.

I ran my hand across the soft, flowing, not-at-all frizzy waves that tumbled down my shoulders.

Seriously, not even one little bit of frizz.

"Vampire venom should be a freaking hair gel," I said to myself, chuckling.

Then it hit me again. I was a vampire now.

Also, the Cullens were vampires. They had been all along, just living there right under our noses and—

Okay, actually, that wasn't weird at all.

If there was some kind of vote at Forks High School for "Most Likely to Be a Vampire," the whole Cullen family would have topped the list, easily.

For starters, they had all looked completely unreal, no matter what, in any kind of lighting. Edward looked like some runway model, all hair and perfect bone structure. Jasper had always had the feral energy of some kind of rock star, and Emmett was basically a Greek God mixed with a fireman calendar. Alice had looked so much like a little fairy girl that I always felt like she had wandered out of some Disney cartoon.

And Rosalie?

I sighed, even though I didn't breathe anymore. It was an old habit, but instead of looking whiny, the girl in the mirror looked like she had the weight of the world on her perfect shoulders.

Rosalie Hale had always been intimidating, and probably always would be to me. There was something about her, no matter what, that always made me feel like a fumbling, little kid. I guessed she had that effect on everyone, though.

To call her beautiful would have been an understatement. Ditto "perfect." All the Cullens were perfect. Rosalie was something else.

The thing about her wasn't just that she was gorgeous. That alone would have been enough to make most people stare, but more than anything, Rosalie's contradictions had always fascinated me.

She was golden but icy. Unapologetically distant and yet you always longed to get closer.

At least, I always had.

Most of the other girls at school had been jealous of Rosalie (and who could blame them?), but for me, there had always been something more. A curiosity, I guessed. I had always wanted to get to know her better, maybe because I had hoped making friends with her might make me feel less like a bug stuck on a windshield.

You would think that suddenly being a part of her family would have helped break the ice, but so far, Rosalie and I were still practically strangers...

Which was saying something when you lived in the same freaking house and nobody ever slept.

Then again, we also didn't have dinner time at the Cullen house, unless you counted bagging a fawn carcass in the same general area. But back at home, mealtimes were the way to get to know someone.

Note to self: ask Esme if it's okay to bring a whole fawn carcass into the house at some point.

At the very least, then Rosalie would have to say more than two words to me, just to ask what the hell I was doing.

I cocked my head as I listened for Rosalie's footfalls somewhere in the house. I did this a lot lately, though I wasn't sure why. It wasn't like the two of us were set to become besties or anything.

A few times since I had woken up, I had tried to talk to her. The conversations (if you could even call them that) hadn't lasted long, with her always leaving to do something that absolutely had to be done. I had been busy enough with training and learning how to hunt, plus talks with Carlisle and Esme about vegetarianism, that I had been able to distract myself from how much it stung for her to dislike me.

The girl in the mirror stared blankly back at me, the depths of her worry hidden underneath a beautiful exterior.

I went downstairs and found everyone dressed up and chatting, almost like this was an incredibly exclusive party instead of a family get-together.

While Alice and Carlisle discussed some redecorating plans Alice had for a house on something called Isle Esme, most of the rest of the family were watching Renesmee play the piano.

I glanced around again. Where was Rosalie? Was she avoiding me? It was a silly thing to wonder (why would she alter her behavior just because of me?), but I couldn't help worrying.

At the other end of the living room, Edward and Bella stood together, their heads tilted toward one another, staring at each other like they were the only two people in the world. Maybe they were, at least to each other.

I grinned as I stepped up to them. At least some things never changed.

"Jessica!" Bella moved forward gracefully, pulling me into a warm hug.

I knew we were family now, but it was a little strange to see her so glowing and happy. (Not to mention the fact that the human Bella had never been the touchy-feely type.) After a second of surprise, I returned the hug happily.

"Oof!" Bella cried. "A little gentler, please?"

"Oh my gawd. Sorry!" I pulled away and stepped back. If I were still human, my cheeks would have gone warm. "I didn't realize I was squeezing so hard."

Bella's smile was unexpectedly reassuring. "You're fine. Being a newborn isn't exactly something that comes with a manual."

I chuckled. "You're telling me." If there were a manual, was there a section that covered what to do when the vampire who created you seemed to despise you?

Edward's eyebrows came together quickly, but in less than a blink of an eye, his face was as smooth and ridiculously handsome as ever. "How are you holding up, Jessica?" He glanced across the room, toward Renesmee.

I followed his gaze to the petite, beautiful girl. She looked about fourteen now, though Alice had told me earlier that Nessie was only a few years old chronologically. But I guessed that a rapidly aging vampire-human hybrid wasn't so unbelievable to me anymore.

"Not overwhelmed by bloodlust, which I guess is a good thing." I turned back to Edward, smiling. I hadn't smelled human blood yet, but there was nothing in Nessie's scent that made me thirsty. He had told me days ago that he could read minds, so I didn't bother to say any of that.

Actually... What were the rules about talking around mind readers?

He smiled and held up a hand. "Just because I can hear thoughts doesn't mean I'm always listening. I'm more interested in what you have to say, I promise you that."

I snorted. "Well, that's good. I had some pretty choice thoughts about you a few years ago when you kept ignoring me."

Bella laughed, a tinkling sound. "Don't worry. You're not the only one. At first, I thought he hated me."

"Seriously?" I cocked an eyebrow. "It was always so obvious how into you he was."

"I don't know about obvious," Edward began.

I grinned at Bella. "So totally obvious. He might as well have been walking around with a neon sign."

Edward looked away, running a seemingly nervous hand through his hair as he chuckled.

Was he actually a little embarrassed?

Had I embarrassed Edward Cullen?

The human high-school girl inside me almost did a somersault. She definitely held up her hand for a much-deserved high-five. I had spent hours mooning over Edward Cullen in high school, and though I could remember it somewhat, the feelings felt far, far away.

Standing here with Edward and Bella, the two of them my family now, I wondered how I had ever harbored any romantic hopes for Edward, ever. He and Bella seemed so perfect for each other, like two puzzle pieces clicking together.

Bella leaned closer to Edward, and he did the same, almost like the two of them weren't even thinking about it. Bella's wide smile, something I hadn't seen much on her as a human, made her look almost unreal.

"Gosh, if you had looked this perfect in school, I totally would have hated you," I blurted out.

She raised a perfect eyebrow at me, her lips parted. "You mean, hated me more?"

After a moment of potential awkwardness, we all started to laugh.

It was strange, chatting with my old friends (or frenemies, depending on how you looked at it), about times that were more and more difficult for me to remember clearly, in the middle of the night at the Cullen house while their family (ahem, our family), surrounded us.

All except for Rosalie.

As soon as the thought occurred to me again, I couldn't help glancing around, even though I knew she wasn't in the room. If she were, I would have felt it.

On the balcony adjacent to the next room, Rosalie stood alone, clearly avoiding the party.

Or more like avoiding me.

My stomach dropped, and I bit my lip.

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked.

Yes, there was. But enough was enough.

I took a deep breath out of habit, straightening my already-straight posture. "Would you excuse me? There's something I need to take care of."


	10. Start Over - Jessica's POV

"Hey, Rosalie," I said as casually as I could. As I stepped out onto the balcony, I barely managed not to pull the door off its hinges.

I'd rather blame my newborn strength, but it had more to do with me being gobsmacked by how beautiful Rosalie looked as she stood outside in the moonlight. With my keen, vampire eyes, she looked even more flawless than before, which was both unfair and wonderful. (But mostly unfair.)

She had her hair down in loose waves around her shoulders, part of it held up with what appeared to be an oversized, gold-plated bobby pin. Her silky, navy blue dress would have looked more at home on a red carpet than in a quiet house in the woods, and yet somehow, she looked perfect standing out here alone on the balcony.

"Are you having a nice time at the party?" I asked after a split-second of silence. I was no stranger to awkward silences, but as a vampire, everything seemed to move so fast that even the tiniest pause could seem like a decade.

Or maybe that was just me being nervous around Rosalie.

"The party is fine," Rosalie replied, her voice somehow managing to be both musical and impatient at the same time.

I bit my lip, considering what else to say.  _Think, Brain. Think._  Jasper had told me that my brain had changed along with my body, making it easier for my thoughts to keep pace with my quick movements.

And yet, now that I was alone with Rosalie, I suddenly felt like my brain had turned to mush.

And cold mush, at that. Like... A big tray of dining hall oatmeal with a brown crust pulled off the line after three hours and left to cool in the garbage.

Yep, that was me.

Except more sparkly.

I stepped forward and carefully stood by the balcony railing, an arm's length from Rosalie. I could see my skin glinting in the moonlight, though it was nothing compared to the almost angelic glow that came off Rosalie.

It took me a few extra seconds to notice that I was staring. Oops. In any case, she didn't seem to mind. Or maybe she was just ignoring me.

My expression tightened.

There was no reason for her not to be with the rest of the family. No reason except for me.

I opened my mouth to speak.  _Why do you hate me?_  I wanted to ask, but the words wouldn't come out. What a chicken. Shaking my head, I turned to go.

"How are you?" Rosalie asked.

I froze. That bug-on-a-windshield feeling returned in full force as I turned and found her golden eyes focused on my face. "You mean, like, emotionally?"

Her perfect lips twitched upward but didn't smile. "Actually, I was asking about how you were handling yourself with Renesmee. Her blood isn't exactly human, but it's not entirely vampiric, either."

"Oh. Right! No urge to suck her, or anyone else's blood. So, umm... Yay, me!" At the last moment, I stopped myself from doing a nerdy little fist pump.

Rosalie's expression stayed as blank and unamused as ever.

"Good talk," I said, starting to turn away again. This was pointless. She clearly didn't want to talk to me, "family" or not.

"How are you, in general, though?" Her voice was softer than before, almost hesitant.

"I'm good. Really." I tried not to stare at the way her skin shone silver against the moonlight, focusing instead on the wide sweep of woods that spread out around us. Woods that were, no doubt, full of the same kind of big cat that had nearly ended my life.

Until Rosalie had shown up and ushered me into something new and completely unexpected.

"You know," I said, "I never got a chance to thank you."

Her laugh was musical but sharp. "For what?"

"For saving my life?" Wait. That wasn't a question. I shook my head. "So... Thank you."

"Hmm." She glanced over me, her honey-colored eyes unreadable.

I resisted an urge to straighten my hair or fumble with my dress. But I couldn't stop myself from shivering, even though the chilly, night air was comfortable against my skin. What was Rosalie thinking right now? What did she see when she looked at me?

If I didn't know any better, she looked almost remorseful. Like she had done something wrong by saving me that night.

"You seem to be handling this well," she said in the same tone you'd use to schedule a root canal.

"Well, what can I say? I guess you can get a lot of thinking done when you don't sleep anymore." I offered her a lame smile.

She didn't return it.

Gah. I couldn't take this anymore. I squared my shoulders and put my hands on my hips, forcing myself to look her in the eye as I asked, "What's your problem, Rosalie?"

She blinked, her lips parting and her eyebrows raising. My tone had come out a little harsher than I had wanted, and maybe that had taken her by surprise.

I bit back the apology I immediately wanted to make. "Look, I know you don't like me. I don't know  _why_  you don't like me, but... But I'm here now and..."

And what was my point, again? My mushy brain fumbled for something to say that was more articulate than,  _So there!_

"Jessica." Her voice made my utterly basic name sound elegant, intriguing, and anything but ordinary. "I don't dislike you."

I blinked. "You... You don't?"

She shook her head, her sleek mane of blonde hair sparkling in the moonlight. "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression."

"I don't get it. If you don't hate me, then why do you act so weird around me?"

"Because I feel guilty."

"For what? I don't get it. You saved my life."

"I might have stopped you from dying, but I'm not convinced that I saved your life." She looked up at the cloudy sky, squinting like she was trying to find the stars. "My brother thinks that we don't have souls. I'm not sure what my opinion on that is, but I know that vampires don't change. And that's not a good thing."

"I don't...?"

"You don't understand." She looked back to me, wearing a sad smile. "You're too young to know what it's like  _not_  to grow older, not to move on to the next phase of your life."

"I wouldn't have moved onto anything if you hadn't come along."

Her expression twitched into confusion, then cleared itself back into an impassive, beautiful blackness. "Maybe that's so. But if I hadn't, you would have died knowing what it means to grow older, if only for a little while. But I chose to make you something else. Something that never changes."

"I don't get it," I admitted. Because I seriously didn't — what wasn't there to love about being sparkly, pretty, and strong? I would never have to worry about mountain lions or anything else, ever again.

"I don't expect you to understand the implications of what I've done. You're enamored of this life because you only see the good parts. Everything else comes with time, and when it does, you won't be so happy about what I've done."

"Excuse me, but what makes you think you know me so well?"

Her eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." I crossed my arms, daring myself to look her in the eye without being distracted. Somehow, I managed. The annoyance that bubbled through my veins probably helped. "Rosalie, ever since I woke up, you've been going out of your way to avoid me. You barely said to words to me at Forks High School, and even then, I'm pretty sure you were talking to someone else."

Her expression hardened. "Your point?"

High-School Jessica, fresh from her somersaulting earlier, wilted a little. "You don't know a thing about me, so don't pretend like you know how I'm going to feel at some unspecified date in the future."

Rosalie frowned but didn't argue. Still, she didn't look entirely convinced.

"Listen, I don't know how you ended up joining the Cullens. Maybe it was different for you. But for me, I'm just happy to be alive. And yeah, maybe I'll wish I could have grown up and started freaking out about paying back my student loans, or gotten married or blah blah blah. But maybe..." I sighed. "Maybe I won't, okay? Maybe I'll just always be ecstatically happy that I'm alive, that I'm stronger now, that I'm not some scrappy little nobody from Forks." The last words tumbled out of my lips, and as I realized what I had said, I cringed inwardly.

I  _so_  didn't want to share that particular tidbit with Rosalie, but oh well.

Silently, I waited for her reply, the seconds ticking between us like minutes. Was that a vampire thing, or a Me Being Nervous Around Rosalie thing?

"All right," she finally said.

"'All right,' what?"

"All right, I believe you. Or, at least, I believe that  _you_  believe that. I sometimes forget that not everyone was as attached to their mortal life as I was."

"Oh. Thanks." I squirmed. It wasn't that I felt unattached to normal, human, boring Jessica Stanley. It was just that the past weeks as a vampire had made it easy to forget her temporarily.

Plus, I didn't even want to think about what might be happening in town, what my family and friends were thinking might have happened to me.

Had I been awful for barely considering them?

"Just for the record," Rosalie's lips curved into a smile that definitely brought back the Bug In a Windshield feeling in full force, "I never thought you were ordinary, even as a mortal."

"Y-you didn't?" I couldn't stop the stutter that crept into my voice.

"Never. When I saw you at school, I always thought..."

I gulped. Oh, boy. The part of me that had always wanted desperately to know what Rosalie was thinking was almost overpowered by a new urge to run far, far away.

"...How is it possible for a human girl to talk so much, so fast, when she still has to breathe to survive?" Her laughter was tinkling bells ringing through the air.

I joined in, surprised at how well my laugh matched hers. Of course, I managed to get a little bit of a snort in there, but Rosalie didn't seem to notice.

"How about we start over?" She tilted her head, her shining halo of hair slipping over her shoulders, and held out her hand for a shake.

I grinned and took her hand, only a little of my astonishment at how soft her skin felt showing on my face. "It's a deal."

"No, not a deal. A truce."

I nodded and shook her hand. Whatever this was, it felt like the start of something great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who's read this far, thanks! I think this might be the end of this part of the story for now, but I think newborn Jessica and Rosalie have more to do. If anyone has any suggestions or things they want to see in upcoming chapters, I would love to hear them!


	11. Not As Strange as It Sounds - Jessica's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, folks! Thanks to all of your lovely kudos and comments, I'm really going to try and make more time for fun stuff like this fanfic. I'll be editing the chapters a little less than I did before, but I'm hoping this will help me ditch my perfectionism AND post more often.
> 
> Cheers!

I crouched in the high branches of a tree deep in the forest, watching the snowy canopy below for my prey. The mountain lion was young and fit, but venturing too close to a small town near the Canadian border. From what Jasper had told me, it would only be a matter of time until the lion either decided to see what the big deal was about McDonald's french fries, or some cocky hunter decided it was time to get rid of the wild cat "menace" and get a new addition for their wall of heads. Either way, it meant a violent death for the lion and more than a little danger for the people in town.

The lion was about a mile off now. The sound of his panting and the gentle crumple of his big paws pressing into the snow were easy to make out, now that I had learned how to listen for them among the sounds of the woods.

I had seen the lion from a distance about an hour earlier, but I had gotten too close and scared him off. He was a big, cute, furry guy with a poofy tail and the prettiest eyes I had ever seen on a cat. I wished I could leave him alone, but the ache in my throat was getting stronger. I didn't want to think about what might happen if I let myself get really thirsty.

"Sorry, Lion-O," I whispered under my breath.

Oh, crap. I had given the lion a name. I was pretty sure that was a no-no.

Bad vampire!t

I cringed, glad that nobody was nearby to see me acting like such a weirdo. As a human, I had gleefully eaten bacon and cheeseburgers. And sometimes (gasp) even bacon cheeseburgers. But these days, now that I could see every little hair on an animal's body and could pick out the little scars on its muzzle, even dangerous predators seemed adorable to me.

Most likely, it had something to do with the fact that I had no reason to be afraid of them any longer. But my lack of fear had only increased my affection.

Maybe getting drained by some random vampire girl wasn't the most dignified way for this animal to go, but I hoped it would be relatively pain-free. That was the deal I had made with myself -- if I had to hunt fuzzy forest creatures, the least I could do was make it painless and (hopefully) helpful in some way. 

I shook my head but managed to keep my scoff inside me so it wouldn't drive away the big cat. I could have bagged a big, slow, delicious elk a few hours ago, but here I was, waiting on a troublesome mountain lion. 

Oh, well. It wasn't like I had much of anything else to do, right? I had been out here for almost a day now. I hadn't suddenly changed into a camping queen (although the lack of bug bites did make the outdoors a little more friendly). It was just that, with Rosalie and Emmett still gone, the house felt... 

I bit my lip. "Different" was one word for it, albeit an incomplete one. Everyone else seemed to be taking it in stride, and so I should have been, too. Besides, it's not like I really knew any better, did I?

It had been four months now since I had officially joined the Cullens, and although I was still getting used to some things, life had settled into a comfortable (though not ordinary) rhythm. No one but Renesmee slept, and no one but Carlisle worked. Without work and sleep to add structure, my new family's days and nights worked along their own, natural rhythms.

I had never been much of a movie buff, but I had watched the entire Criterion collection. Bella had loaned me a bunch of old novels (some of which I was actually enjoying). I had even started learning French, for real this time. In school, it had been my worst subject, but having a bunch of live-in tutors definitely helped... Not to mention Carlisle's offer to take me and the entire family to Paris as a reward once I mastered something called "past perfect tense."

Lucky for him, I still wasn't great at grammar. Technically, it would be at least another month before I was safe to be around crowds of humans, though I had scented a few from afar and managed to keep it together. For now, I was far enough outside of the small town not to worry about any random hikers, especially not in the winter.

A sharp, pleasantly cold breeze blew in, ruffling my hair and the delicate lace trim of the blouse Alice had given me. I had no idea whether she had bought it specifically for me or not -- she must have because just like the rest of the clothes in my new closet, it fit perfectly.

I was just considering the ridiculousness of wearing something with an Italian label while crouching in a tree and waiting to catch my dinner, when another gentle breeze blew in.

The scents of the forest were laced with the clean, crisp scent of the snow that covered everything. But the richness of the soil and greenery were undercut by another scent that made my senses sharpen even more.  

Honey and lilac. 

I gasped out of habit.

Rosalie was close by. 

I almost jumped out of the tree like some dumb kid running off to meet Mickey Mouse, but managed to catch myself on one of the lower branches. The tree limbs rustled, but otherwise, there would have been no way to tell I was still here. 

I frowned thoughtfully. It was definitely Rosalie. I wouldn't mistake her (or any of my family's scents) for anything else.

But why was she out here? Weren't she and Emmet supposed to be off somewhere together, visiting Rome? From what Jasper had told me, Rosalie was supposed to be gone for weeks, months even.

Well, Rosalie _and_ Emmett. You know, obviously.

Tilting my head, I listened for the sounds of soft, graceful footfalls, and inhaled deeply, hoping to pick up the sweet, but strong scent of my friend. I listened carefully for her, blocking out the rest of the forest in favor of Rosalie...

Which is why I almost didn't notice the big, predatory bird until it was in my face, claws out, cawing in anger, with an unmistakably pissed off look in it's avian eyes. 

"Funky butt-lovin'!" I yelped, and before I could think about what I was doing, started to flail. 

The hawk (or whatever it was, honestly it was hard to tell with it lunging at me like that) took my yelling as some kind of battle cry, and doubled down on its efforts to unseat me from my perch. "BRAACK!" it screamed back at me with all the force of a Black Friday shopper who'd just been cut in line.

My (very) sensitive ears picked up every nuance of its ear-splitting cry. "Hey--!" I sputtered.

Its claws raked across my face, down my neck, across my chest. It wanted me gone, and it wasn't afraid to risk life and limb to get me out of here.

Out of habit, I covered up my face and hunkered down a little. That's when I saw it: in the corner of my eye, I caught a look at a nest filled with down and small branches. Well, that explained it.

I jumped down from the tree, landing on my feet without any effort. I had half a second to assume that that would be the end of it, but then the hawk dived down at me again, giving another angry screech that was sure to frighten off my mountain lion or at least seriously annoy it.

The hawk swooped down toward me, an angry mama who had zero tolerance for interloping vampire girls.

"I'm going! I'm going!" I yelped in spite of myself, running away so fast that I was probably little more than a blur to the hawk. 

Thanks to my new speed, I had outrun the hawk easily. Ten seconds later, I stood on the banks of a river about a half-mile away. The water was nearly frozen, but underneath the ice, a smooth current flowed with its own song. I told myself not to pay too much attention to it, knowing it would distract me. 

"Did you just say 'funky butt-lovin'?'" said a musical voice.

In spite of my embarrassment, I couldn't stop myself from jumping up like an excited kid. "Rosalie!" I looked around and found her about a hundred yards away, a sly smile on her face as she stood at the crest of a short, snow-covered hill.

Her white peacoat almost blended in with the snow around us, and her milky skin practically glowed. The warm hue of her blonde hair looked like a ray of sunlight cascading around her shoulders, even though the sky above was a blanket of grey. As she sauntered over, the wind ruffled her golden hair around her like a smooth cape.

"When did you get back?" I landed an arm's length away from her, for some reason, not even willing to wait for her to come to me. As I righted myself, the smell of her filled my nostrils. It was better than my mother's fresh-baked bread, not that I would ever say that. I loved the way that everyone in my new family smelled (not that I would ever say _that_  either, of course), but Rosalie always smelled like home. Maybe it was because she had been the one to make me?

I had just started to get fully lost in thought when I realized that a few seconds had passed.

Oops. I had gotten better at focusing lately, but with Rosalie, I always seemed to lose my train of thought at least once during a conversation.

Rosalie smiled at me indulgently. One of my favorite smiles from her -- from what I could tell, she had a dozen different varieties. Ever since the two of us had made that little truce, I had started learning more and more about them and her.

"Emmett and I landed back in Seattle about an hour ago," she replied, her smile not changing even though something in her eyes caught my attention.

I couldn't put a name to it, but somehow, it seemed like there was something she wasn't telling me. I opened my mouth to ask, but she continued:

"Rome was dusty and crowded. Full of tourists. I don't know why I always forget about that. Honestly, there was barely enough room to see the Spanish Steps." She gave a put-upon sigh.

I smiled. Not that I had ever been to Rome, but I had a feeling it wasn't any more crowded than usual. More than likely, it had just been full of people pressing in closer to check out Rosalie. I hadn't been in public with her just yet, but if it was anything like the reaction she had gotten on her first days at Forks High, most people were probably out to take selfies with the supermodel that must have accidentally landed in their midst.

"I'm glad you're back," I told her, because I was. "The house was too quiet without you. And Emmett."

She nodded, glancing away for a split second before returning her gaze to me. She glanced down pointedly, her slim eyebrows raising. "Alice won't be happy about this."

"About what?" I asked, then realized that I hadn't bothered to check myself for wounds yet. Maybe I really _was_  getting used to this vampire thing. But when I glanced down, I yelped and covered myself. Holy crap! I was half-naked and hadn't even noticed it. The hawk's claws hadn't even left a mark, but I couldn't say the same for the fancy, designer top Alice had bought for me. "Yikes. Vampire girls gone wild."

Rosalie chuckled and slipped her jacket off, then handed it to me, bringing with it a cloud of pleasant scent.

Gratefully, I pulled it on. I tried not to look too much like I was sniffing the air as I buttoned up the coat. "Thanks. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along. Probably would have bagged that mountain lion and tied its fur around my chest like Tarzan. Or Jane."

"Very couture." Rosalie gave a small smile that could have passed for a smirk, if I hadn't gotten to know her better. She glanced over me again, but the expression in her eyes was hard to read. "It suits you."

"Oh. Thanks? I mean, _thanks_." I tried not to squirm. "So, what are you doing out here? I mean, not that I mind. I really appreciate you loaning me your coat. Really."

A moment of silence slipped between us, maybe no more than a second or two. "I came out here to find you, actually," Rosalie finally said.

I couldn't stop the look of surprise that splashed across my face. 

"But if you'd rather be alone, then I understand." She started to move away.

My arm moved so fast it nearly blurred in my vision. Suddenly, my hand was on Rosalie, pressing through the thick, white wool of her sweater, into the smooth, pleasantly firm flesh of her forearm. "I don't mind the company. Seriously." 

Her mouth opened, but she didn't speak.

Hastily, I stepped away, trying not to look as silly as I felt. What was it about Rosalie that made me come running like some kind of lap dog? If I was going to keep being a real Cullen, I was going to have to learn how to keep cool full-time around my ridiculously perfect family members. Yeesh. "It's from a movie, by the way."

She tilted her head. "What is?"

"Funky butt-lovin'." I smiled, the ridiculousness of the phrase bringing back a little much-needed relaxation. " _Rookie of the Year._  Have you ever seen it?"

"Is that some kind of sports movie?"

"Only _the_ best baseball movie in the world," I announced as if I had seen more than a handful in my lifetime. Well, previous lifetime. "We've got to check it out. I had the biggest crush ever on the boy who starred in it."

"Curiouser and curiouser." Rosalie's smirk-smile grew into something just below a grin. "I'd like to hear more about the life and loves of Jessica Stanley, especially as a tween girl extraordinaire."

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, there's not much to say. And whatever there is, it's worth forgetting."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

I chuckled. The last thing I wanted to do was go over the messy (and totally ridiculous) details of my failed "romance" with Mike Newton. Ditto, any of the other guys I had casually dated during college. Those moments were fading from my memory more and more now, and unlike other times in my life that I wanted to hold onto, I felt pretty okay about forgetting most of the dismal disaster that had been my human love life. "Anyway," I changed the subject, "how did you even find me?"

"I... Well, I smelled you." She frowned. "I promise that's not as strange as it sounds."

As adorable as it was to see Rosalie looking at least a little awkward (as if that were even possible), it took everything in me not to sniff under my armpits. But then I reminded myself: duh, vampiric bloodhound sense of smell. I had it. Rosalie had it. We all freakin' had it. And maybe I wasn't such a weirdo, after all. I smiled, trying to reassure her. "Well, I could probably use the help. I've been trying to get this mountain lion for the last couple of hours. I'm pretty sure the squawking from that hawk probably scared him off."

She shook her head. "He's still about two miles off, probably moving a little slower now after his meal. He just got ahold of a little fawn. Why don't we head over?"

"Sure. Do you want to grab something for yourself afterward? You must be hungry."

"I just fed."

I nodded, though I couldn't help wondering why she had come all the way out here if she hadn't needed to hunt. Had she come here just to see me? The idea of it sent a pleasant flutter into my stomach (probably just High School Jess still somersaulting in glee at being invited to the cool kids' table), but it seemed too impossible to conceive of, even if we were family now.

Rosalie and I followed the lion's scent, slowing our pace and moving even more silently as we got closer. With her in the lead, I managed to stay out of sight. The whole thing was over in a few seconds, and miraculously, I managed not to get bloodstains all over Rosalie's pretty coat. Some dots had gotten onto the collar, but I hoped I could get those out, somehow.

I stood, the lion's carcass at my feet. I tried not to look down at the poor guy. "It's the circle of life," I muttered lamely.

Rosalie's golden eyes were warm with sympathy. "You'll get used to it."

"You think?"

"I hope." She frowned, looking away again before glancing back at me. "Or maybe you won't. Maybe I hope for that, too."

I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but something in her expression told me not to press. I took a few hesitant steps toward her. "So, what now?" I knew the answer to that, of course. We should go back to the house. But for some reason, neither of us said that.

Rosalie's eyes clouded again, full of thought, but as unreadable as ever.

"Is everything...? I mean, are you...?" I trailed off, wishing I knew what to say to make whatever it was that was distracting her go away.

"I don't want to go back home yet." Her voice was flat.

"Oh."

Another second passed before she looked back at me, her cloudy expression making way for a touch of amusement. "You're not going to ask why?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Not particularly."

"Okay. So... No. Honestly? If you want to tell me, okay. But if you don't, that's cool, too. I..." I bit my lip, hesitating before admitting, "I'm just glad you're here."

The smile that broke through her cloudy expression almost made me feel warm. "I know something that'll make us both feel better."

"What?" I managed.

"Shopping."

My eyes widened. It shouldn't have been that weird for my new sister (mother? cousin?) to offer to take me shopping, but for some reason, it seemed like the most exciting thing in the world.

I nodded, hoping I didn't look too enthusiastic.

I caught a split second of the beatific grin that crossed Rosalie's face, but then she ran off in a blur, calling behind her shoulder, "Follow me."

Before Rosalie could disappear into the woods like some kind of sprite, I legged it after her, still surprising myself at how I managed to keep up with her as we ran through miles of wilderness, toward wherever her vampire GPS was taking us.

At some point, it occurred to me that I hadn't asked Rosalie why she had come out here to find me of all people, but at that moment, it didn't seem to matter.


	12. What It Would Feel Like - Rosalie's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, wonderful readers! I hope you enjoy the new chapter.
> 
> To everyone who's still here, thanks for continuing with the story. Your comments and kudos are my inspiration. Thanks for helping me keep writing!

"You sure you don't want something a little more, erm, sensible?" asked the salesman, even as he looked ready to kick himself for trying to tempt me away from the vintage Camaro that had caught my eye. 

_Sensible_  was not a word that could have applied to any aspect of this situation, however, here I was, purchasing a new car. Jessica and I had a long way to go from Forks to San Francisco, and although we could have run the whole way without tiring much, I preferred keeping my hair in relative order, thank you. And besides, since Jessica had so kindly agreed to come with me, I didn't want her to feel like the journey was more trouble than it was worth.

The salesman waited for my reply, actually holding his breath.

I shook my head, my eyes focused on the beautifully complicated, yet oddly simple engine before me. I loved the newer cars we owned, but there was nothing like the perfection of a classic engine. No fancy, electronic sensors or unnecessary parts. Everything in its place with no frills to distract you. In my mind, there was nothing more sensible than that, gas mileage be damned.

I'd had the salesman lift up the hood, which had taken him by surprise. Whether it was because I was a woman or because his customers didn't normally consider these things, I wasn't entirely sure. It was yet another time that I was thankful that I didn't have my younger brother's gift of telepathy. At least this way, I could _try_  to assume the best in people.

Not that I usually succeeded all that well.

"This is lovely. Thank you." I pulled down the hood and let it drop shut. This car was a lucky find, really, in such a small used car lot outside of Portland. The exterior sported a few dents and the upholstery could use some love, but from what I had seen, she was doing well enough under the hood to survive the journey that Jessica and I were taking.

"Well, sure." The man cleared his throat, a classic tic for buying time. "That is, she's pretty enough, I'll give you that, but the upkeep on a car like this isn't really something to look forward to, Miss. You sure that's something you can handle over the long haul? I've got some newer cars for almost the same price that might run you a little better."

I smiled at the older man, grateful for his concern, not to mention his honesty. The Camaro was in good condition, but it was the furthest thing from sensible that I could have purchased here.

At the sight of my smile, the man's heartbeat sputtered into a faster rhythm. A reflex, more than likely.

My smile dimmed a bit. Again, I was grateful that, unlike Edward, I didn't have the power to hear thoughts. This man seemed benign enough, but I had been on this earth long enough to understand that beauty carried certain burdens, one of which was never quite feeling like anyone else truly saw you.

An image of Emmett's face flashed into my mind, and I felt my shoulders go tight.

Instinctively, I looked around for Jessica. The disappointment that crushed in my chest a second later was as irrational as it was ridiculous. Jessica was waiting in the woods nearby, alone. Neither of us wanted to risk her being so close to a regular human. Naturally, she wasn't in any danger as she stood there alone, but remembering her waiting there did make me want to move a little faster.

I took my credit card from my pocket and handed it to the man. This, combined with the smile I had pinned onto my face, was enough to stop his protests. "I think the price as listed on the placard is just perfect," I told him. "Thank you."

Fifteen minutes later, I was the proud owner of a not-quite-mint-condition black Camaro. It would get Jessica and me where we needed to go, and very possibly back to Forks with only a few minor modifications. But for now, I didn't want to think of our journey back.

As soon as I pulled onto the road's shoulder, Jessica bounded out of the woods. Her smile wide and infectious. As she settled into the passenger seat, she brought with her the scents of the forest, undercut with Jessica's unique natural perfume. "Cool car!"

Another smile, this one real, appeared on my lips. A tingle of relief fizzed through me. Without even realizing it, I had been wondering whether she might think the car was a little less than impressive, considering the other vehicles she had seen our family driving over the years. 

I pulled onto the road, steering my way back to the highway that would lead us to our destination. "Thank you. It's a 1967 model, not the best one they have, but certainly not the worst. My personal preference is for the 1970 model, but they didn't have that in stock at the lot and..." I trailed off. 

Why was I rambling?

Of course, Jessica wouldn't care about any of this. The only other gear head I knew was the dog boy, and unfortunately, he was still off at school.

If Jessica noticed my gaffe, she was polite enough not to let on. As she clicked her seatbelt into place, and I couldn't help smiling. It was hardly necessary for our kind, and seeing her bother with the extra safety precaution only reminded me of how human she still was.

But the long, lingering breath that she pulled in through her nostrils made me immediately remember that she was a vampire. She rolled down her window a little, I assumed to cut the maddening scent of our intended prey. 

"I'm sorry," I blurted.

She tilted her head at me, her expression confused but (to my relief) clear of any of the newborn frenzy. "About what?"

"The car... It smells of humans, I know. I thought... Well, I don't suppose I was thinking at all." 

"Oh, no. I'm okay."

"Really?"

She shrugged as if it were no problem at all. As if I hadn't just asked her to endure an unendurable burden without even warning her about it. "My throat burns a little, but I'm okay. Maybe it helps that I just ate, you know?"

I nodded. Yes, that did help, however, it hadn't been a part of my plan. I hadn't had any plan at all when I'd stolen away with her, and that was... Concerning.

Reflected back at me in the windshield, my expression turned worried. Guilt tightened inside of my stomach. What had I been thinking? I had been so selfish, dragging Jessica away from the comfortable solitude of home. She had only been one of us for four months, though it felt like so much longer.  Though her self-control was outstanding, she was still technically a newborn. 

Was it fair for me to ask her to endure so much discomfort, all because I had wanted to get away for a little while?

Rain splotched down from heavy, grey clouds as we passed a blur of trees and asphalt in silence for a long string of minutes. I kept an eye on Jessica, waiting and dreading for her to let on that this trip was too much for her. 

However, all she did was stare at the window, her expression more amazed than frustrated as she regarded the darkened silhouettes of the trees.

And then, all at once in the cloudy, Oregon morning, the barest rays of sun slipped through the clouds. Warm sunlight poured through our windows, bathing us both in golden light. Somehow, Jessica looked even more magical with her pale, perfect skin and shining tumble of brown hair. Every part of her sparkled, making her look as if she were under a soft-focus movie camera.

_She looks so beautiful in my clothes,_  I found myself thinking with a mixture of pride and anticipation. The latter emotion made me wish that I could drive faster without getting us both arrested.

A little blur in the corner of my eye pulled my attention back to the road.

A deer.

I managed to avoid a head-on collision with the animal, though, without my reflexes, there was no way I could have been so lucky.

"What was that?" Jessica asked.

"Nothing. Just a deer." I frowned, a little embarrassed. "They just come out of nowhere sometimes, don't they?"

Jessica hesitated for the barest moment before nodding in agreement. She turned back to the window. It was a good thing that she was more interested in watching the passing scenery than pointing out that I had nearly totaled our new car because I had been so distracted by her sparkling.

I shook my head. _Just drive, Rosalie. Try not to run off the road in the meantime._  

I merged onto a long stretch of highway, mostly deserted for now. Still...

"You should probably roll up your window," I told her, sounding apologetic. "People might see you and get distracted."

Her giggle was like tinkling bells as she fingered the lapel of my peacoat, which she still wore. "Seriously? The coat's gorgeous, but I still look like a girl who's been running through the forest for the past couple of hours."

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. In anyone else, I would assume this was just false modesty, but Jessica seemed incapable of lying even in jest. "You'll see. You don't know because you've only been around us so far. But when you're finally around regular human beings again, you'll realize how beautiful you've become."

Jessica's already-big eyes widened and her perfect mouth tightened into a surprised 'O'. 

I took another look at the road before me, making sure there weren't any errant deer, cars, or random debris in front of us before I looked back to the girl sitting beside me, letting my eyes take her in fully. My gosh, she looked like a girl from an old cameo pin. "What?" I said as if there weren't little butterflies fluttering inside my chest for some reason. "You're beautiful. That shouldn't be surprising for you."

"I... No, I..." She glanced away, her lips curving into a frown.

I played the last moment back in my mind. Oh, dear. Had I implied that she hadn't been beautiful as a human? It was just like me, phrasing things the wrong way. The unpleasant way. And, in Jessica's case, the entirely _wrong_  way. "I just meant that it's part of the transformation, that's all. Looking a certain way. It helps us hunt," I added hastily.

"Yeah, I know. I mean, Jasper and Carlisle told me, but..." She bit her lip. 

A beat of silence passed between us, slow as cold honey in spite of the road speeding past us.

"You were beautiful as a human, too," I heard myself say.

Jessica sat up like she'd been electrocuted and looked back at me with a shocked expression. "I was?"

"Of course you were." I hesitated, wondering if she was truly serious. When her gaze betrayed nothing more than surprise, I felt myself frown. "You didn't know that?"

"I... Well, no. I mean, kind of?" She grimaced. "I mean, I was pretty vain, I'll admit. But it wasn't because I thought I was all that great." 

"That's absolutely ludicrous." The words came out more firmly than I expected, but I couldn't bring myself to regret how certain I sounded. I locked eyes with her for half a moment, as long as I dared without risking some kind of embarrassing fumble like running into a median. It boggled my mind that Jessica had never realized how beautiful she was, even while human. As a girl, if I had met her in Rochester, I would have immediately marked her as a rival and done everything I could to make sure she wouldn't undermine my place as the belle of the ball. 

Would it make her feel more beautiful if I admitted this, or would it just make me seem mean-spirited?

"So, umm, where are we going?" Jessica asked after another moment, sounding a little awkward.

My eyes widened as I realized that, even after running for the last two hours and making a stop in Portland for this car, Jessica still hadn't asked where we were going. "San Francisco," I said. "I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier when I practically kidnapped you."

"Kidnapped me? Not even close. Believe me, I'd go wherever you went, even if you didn't invite me." The moment she said it, Jessica seemed to regret it. Her eyes widened again, but instead of looking surprised, she looked embarrassed.

Without thinking, I rested a hand on top of hers. A little tingle of something fluttered across my palm, up to my arm, all the way to my face. I hadn't blushed since I had been turned by Carlisle, but if vampires could do so, I wondered if this was what it would feel like.

Jessica jumped with surprise, but before I could pull away, she rested her other hand on mine.

It felt natural this way, the two of us traveling alone, not quite holding hands. So natural that I couldn't bring myself to pull away, even though I wondered if I should. I wondered what Jessica was thinking. At the moment, so much of our circumstances were unusual (to say the least), and yet she looked utterly at ease. Content, even, if I were reading the expression in her crimson eyes correctly. 

Some tension I hadn't even realized I'd been feeling loosened within me. I had been carrying it around for so long I had barely noticed it, even though I had hauled it all the way to my "magical" Roman holiday. Thinking of that week nearly made the burdensome tightness return, so I pushed my thoughts back to the present.

Back to the road in front of us. Back to the scenery passing by our windows. And back to Jessica's hands sandwiching mine.

We were quiet for a long time, and I would have been surprised at how comfortable it was if it were anyone but Jessica. We drove throughout the day and into the night, alternating between a supremely comfortable silence and easy conversation. Eventually, I stopped waiting for Jessica to ask me why I had run off with her in the first place. Like me, she seemed to be more interested in the moments in front of us.

 

******

 

Hours later, it was dark and silent in this part of San Francisco's Tenderloin district as we neared our destination. I steered around the low, unimpressive building with its modest signage, rolling into the small parking lot behind it.

I parked the car in the space closest to the door, and I could swear that I heard its overworked engine sputtering a thank-you. 

Jessica started to open her door, but I held up a hand.

"Wait a moment," I told her.

Jessica nodded, then glanced around. A little whiff of something like fear came off of her, and for a moment I didn't realize why. But then I remembered: she was a vampire, but she still remembered what it was like to be a human girl, and to someone like that, a dark alley at 3 AM could be a very scary place.

I put a hand on her shoulder, my concern for her making it easier to ignore the little tingle that zipped into my fingertips as we touched. "It's fine. We're the frightening monsters now, remember?"

She chuckled. "Oh, right. Then what...?" The realization dawned on her face, and her mirth disappeared. She nodded again, her mouth tight with worry.

I stepped out of the car and sniffed the air. No humans nearby at this time of night. It was unlikely that we'd find any homeless people on this side of town, but if someone wandered over, I would take Jessica out of here immediately. "All clear," I told her.

She stepped out of the car and looked around like we were standing in an art gallery instead of behind a small, squat building with dim, yellow bulb illuminating our surroundings. How beautiful everything must look to her, even this.

How long had it been since I had noticed much of that beauty? It was a shame, really.

"What now?" she asked, sounding excited.

I smiled and took a small breath, almost as if I hoped that her excitement could carry through the air, into my lungs. "Follow me."

The back door held a state-of-the-art keypad, and I dialed in a string of seven numbers. A moment later, the lock clicked free automatically, and I opened the door and stepped through. I led Jessica down a narrow hallway, ignoring the utility closet, storeroom, and office.

When we stood just at the edge of the large, quiet space, I flicked the light switch. 

Racks of couture fashions, accessories, and even some artwork surrounded us. It was full, but not busy, with enough room between everything to retain the gallery feel I had been going for when I had bought this place a few years ago. I didn't love what the current management had done with a rack of cocktail dresses in the corner, but I supposed I could take a moment to fix that.

Beside me, Jessica's gasp of surprise was enough to fill me with delight and make me forget about the dresses.

Grinning, I stepped up to a vibrant, royal blue sheath mini-dress with a low neckline and a slight flare in the skirt. She would look dazzling in it, and I could already feel a puff of pride gathering in my chest.

Jessica's mouth fell open. "You would _kill it_ in that dress." Her eyes slipped up and down my body, then flitted to the dress.

That blushing feeling returned, but I shook my head. "It's for you, actually."

"Me?"

"You," I told her, and for some reason, the word tasted sweeter in my mouth than it ever had before. "Let's start with this one and work our way down the store. I want to see you in everything."


	13. Hours Until Dawn - Jessica's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, folks! I hope everyone has a fun time reading, but I especially think all of you RosaliexJessica shippers will like this chapter! As always, thanks for taking the time to read and for your incredibly kind kudos and comments.

Hours later, I stood alone in a changing room and looked down at the dress in my arms (one of the dozens I had tried on tonight), wincing at the price tag. Not that it mattered how much this or any of the other dresses cost -- Rosalie owned this place, after all, so she had free reign to do whatever she wanted. But still...

"Yikes," I mumbled, unable to keep my eyes from widening at the number of zeroes on the small slip of cardstock tied to the end of a ribbon. This dress cost about as much as a semester of tuition. I couldn't believe I was saying this, but could a dress really be worth this much money? And if it were, wouldn't I just spill ice cream or something on it the second we left the store?

Oh, right. I didn't eat ice cream or any other food anymore. Still, the dress was so fancy that I couldn't help imagining how I might mess it up. After all, I had a knack at running into angry mama eagles, didn't I? 

In spite of myself, I chuckled at the memory.

Elsewhere in the store, Rosalie was still nearby. I could smell her in the air like a fading scent, and I focused on her perfume instead of the undeniably human scents that lingered all around me. Every time I let myself zone out and think about the smells of regular humans, my throat started to burn. Carlisle had told me that, for now at least, it was best to try not to think about these kinds of things. Eventually, we could work on building up my tolerance, but that wouldn't happen for at least a few more months.

Meanwhile, the dress in my arms felt smooth and yet slightly rough, the fine silk still a woven texture against the sensitivity of my skin. I would never get used to that, and maybe I didn't want to. Although I had a feeling I would think differently if I weren't wearing currently wearing a $500 purple silk dress that Rosalie had picked out for me. 

Regarding myself in the mirror, I wondered at how the heck I had gotten here. The vampire stuff, I was getting sort of acclimated to at this point. But the crazy expensive clothes? Now that was a real mind-scrambler.

The fact that I was here with Rosalie, getting dressed up like a living doll, was also still slightly impossible to believe. 

I carefully set down the new dress on a plush bench nearby, then pulled down the zipper of the purple silk dress I had been wearing. I sighed with relief. This was a gorgeous dress, but it just wasn't me. 

Of course, if Alice had been around, she would have insisted I keep wearing this dress, anyway. But Rosalie and I had both agreed to only bring home dresses that I absolutely loved. She had told me that this purple silk one was a beautiful fit, but when I had admitted to feeling too formal in it, Rosalie had agreed and brought over another dress. That was how it had been tonight: Rosalie would choose an item, I would try it on, and then she would ask how I felt in it.

It was a little weird, having someone who looked like her studying me so intently. But I figured it was just the dresses she was checking out, so what was the big deal?

I slipped off the purple dress, reveling in the feeling of the light silk slipping down my skin. As I stepped away from the dress, the pleasant smell of Rosalie's perfume, which still lingered on the material, filled my nostrils.

It took an effort for me not to stand there and sniff the air like a dog. I consoled myself a little that it wasn't just because of Rosalie's scent -- as a vampire, every place was like Disney World when you could see, smell, taste, and touch so many things. The whole world had the volume turned up.

"Is everything all right?" Rosalie asked from just outside the curtain.

"I... Yeah, I'm fine," I sputtered, my cheeks feeling tingly and maybe even a little warm.

"Does it smell too much like humans in there?" Quick steps rushed toward me, and less than a second later, the curtain pulled open to reveal Rosalie's beautifully concerned face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"

It took me a moment to even realize she had stopped talking because the expression on her face as she looked at me changed so rapidly from concern to surprise to a rapt interest that I almost couldn't keep up.

Rosalie's golden eyes slipped down from my face, trailing down my neck and shoulders, then dipped below and lingered on my chest, stomach, down to my legs. Her gaze left licks of warm heat across my body, even though she was still standing an arm's length away.

My heart thunked -- or at least, it _would have_  thunked. Lacking a real heartbeat, my chest tightened reflexively in a kind of aching, wonderful phantom pain.

Rosalie was still looking at me, her golden eyes narrowing and her full lips parting slowly as if she were seeing something amazing for the first time.

But how could that be? It was just me standing here. Boring Jessica Stanley, a little more sparkly and a lot stronger, but still... Just me.

I looked down at myself, half expecting to see something miraculous standing in my place. 

I gasped as I remembered I wasn't entirely dressed. My panties were intact and clean (thank God) but the expensive bra I'd been wearing had been all but shredded by the eagle earlier. The pathetic state of my undergarments (not to mention the mud that was still streaked across parts of my skin) had completely slipped my mind.

Looking up, I almost started to apologize for the state of me.

But Rosalie was still looking at me, and seeing the concentration on her face made anything resembling words turn to vapor on my tongue.

My body flashed hot, or maybe it was just a memory of heat since I couldn't technically blush at all anymore. I didn't really care, either way. Some quiet, human, awkward part of me wondered if I should move to cover myself, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

Instead, I felt myself lean forward.

Rosalie's eyes widened and her lips parted even more.

Energy surged through me.

Then Rosalie closed the curtain so quickly that the material flashed in front of my eyes. One moment she was there, the most beautiful girl in the world, staring at me like I was something she wanted, and the next, I was leaning forward and puckering my lips at a red velvet curtain.

_Ohmigod._

I stood there for a long moment, almost like I thought that if I waited, things would go back to... Well, whatever it is we had been doing a second ago. Or _almost_  doing... Whatever that was.

I bit my lip and glanced at myself in the mirror. Yup, I was still half-naked. And I was pretty sure that Rosalie was still waiting for me on the other side of the curtain, wondering what the heck I was doing in here all by myself.

 _Not that there wouldn't be plenty of room for two people,_  said a sneaky thought in my brain.

"Ugh, shut up," I muttered to myself. What was my problem here?

"Excuse me?" Rosalie said from a bit further away than before.

"Erm, nothing. I was just... Umm... Messing around with this zipper?"

"Oh." She paused. "I see."

For half a second, I expected her to come in and offer to help, and my traitorous heart leaped at the idea of it. When the curtain stayed drawn, I felt my shoulders slump. It was probably for the best. After all, it wasn't like this could really go anywhere. Rosalie was gorgeous and perfect and ridiculously amazing at everything, but that didn't make her available. In fact, there was a big guy back in Forks who was probably wondering where the heck both of us had gone off to.

Guilt tightened inside of my chest. Just because I had a crush on Rosalie didn't mean I had any right to act on it. So there.

My eyes widened. Oh, man. That was it: the thing I had been trying so hard to deny for the past few months. I had a crush on Rosalie. Maybe I'd always had it, but getting to be alone with her for such a pleasant string of time had finally dragged this truth into the front of my mind.

Well... Crap.

Suddenly, the whole thing seemed so obvious that I couldn't understand why I hadn't noticed it before. Ugh. I only hoped I hadn't completely humiliated myself in front of her. I hoped I hadn't. More likely, I had been tripping over myself this whole time without even realizing it, but Rosalie was just too polite to say anything about it. That, or she was just used to the entire world having a crush on her.

Door #2 sounded more likely. It should have been a relief, but I couldn't help the little twinge of jealousy that crumpled in my belly at the thought of anyone else feeling like this about her.

Which I understood was totally, ridiculously stupid.

I rolled my eyes at myself, then pulled on the dress and zipped it up (although the angle on the side zipper was a little awkward, come to think of it). It was a shorter length than the one before with a low, scooping neckline. I didn't bother glancing at myself in the mirror. I was too nervous. 

As I stepped out into the main area, I found Rosalie rearranging a display of dresses near the front of the store. She didn't turn as I took a few steps further into the store's main area. "I'm sorry for intruding," she said, her voice a little stiff. "I was just asking if you were doing all right here. I know this place does smell very strongly of humans."

"Yeah. I guess it does." I couldn't stop the disappointment from seeping into my voice. Not that I really knew what I could be disappointed about. It wasn't like I thought Rosalie was going to just jump on me in the middle of the changing room or something.

Although... Yeah. Not saying that wouldn't have been unbelievably cool.

And surprising.

And weird.

And... Oh, yeah. Amazing.

I shook my head, trying to push any potentially awkward-making thoughts from my brain. Crush or not, I had just started being real friends with Rosalie. I didn't want to screw it up by behaving like I creeper. "But it's fine. Seriously. I'm good." I walked forward.

Rosalie turned, her mouth open like she was going to speak, but when she saw me, she stopped.

The same flushed, all-over blush feeling returned to me. In spite of myself, I smiled, feeling a mix of shyness and something else. "Do you like it?"

"You're divine," she said, her voice smooth like warm honey. A moment later, she had bridged the distance between us, her steps so grateful that she almost seemed to float over to me. Standing an arm's length away from me, she looked at me with a kindly smile, almost like she were proud of me. "I knew you'd be perfect in that one."

I could feel myself starting to step forward again, to really cut the distance between us. But I stopped myself, looking down at the gleaming fabric of the dress, trying to make myself interested in the way that the material clung to my altered curves, instead of imagining what it might be like to have Rosalie's hands on me.

 _No,_  I told myself. _No, no, no._

I felt like I was training my old Beagle, Sparky, all over again. He had passed away a few years ago, fat and happy and not well-trained at all. That did not bode well for me.

"Sometimes I wonder how I could have been part of making you what you are now," Rosalie said, a hint of pride sneaking into her voice. "Not just the way you look, but how well you're doing for a newborn."

I stood up a little straighter, feeling myself puff up a little. Whether I was happy about _not_  wanting to eat human beings, or just pleased that I had impressed Rosalie even a little, I couldn't be sure. I'd like to think it was a bit of both, though. 

"I had a feeling that you would adapt well to our odd, little habit of not consuming human blood," she continued, "but I admit I was a bit selfish bringing you here. Still, I knew that you would-- Well, I _hoped_ that you could be comfortable in here, even with all the human smells, so long as it was just the two of us."

I would have been comfortable anywhere if it were just the two of us, but I didn't say that. I smiled. Her eyes caught mine, and in spite of the butterflies that had started partying inside my chest, I didn't look away. The warmth of her gaze made my face flush (or at least feel flushed). "By the way, I think this dress is a keeper."

"I should say so," she replied, her voice deepening.

If I were still a regular human, I would have gulped and started sweating. Since I didn't do either of those things anymore, I hoped I looked at least a little less awkward as I stood there staring at her. "Thank you for bringing me here."

She nodded and looked away, something clouding beneath her eyes.

The butterflies in my stomach dropped dead. Had I said something wrong? For half a second, I considered slipping away, back into the confines of the dressing room, but some other part of me decided to move forward. In a flash, I was standing face to face with Rosalie, so close that I would have felt her breath on my cheeks if either of us still breathed. It was like my body had decided what was going to happen, and I had been helpless except to go along with it.

I bit my lip. I knew what I wanted to ask next, but I wasn't sure if it was my place. Still, Rosalie looked so thoughtful that I couldn't leave her to deal with whatever was upsetting her all on her own. For courage, I pulled air through my nose and took in the full bouquet of her scent. The effect was calming and exciting, all at the same time. "Rosalie?"

She turned back to me, her beautiful face unreadable except for the new hesitation that lingered in her eyes. "Yes?"

"Why did you bring me here? I mean, I get it. Shopping is fun and dresses are fun and road trips are fun, especially when nobody has to stop and pee in a shady bathroom and--" I cringed, stopping myself from blabbering on. 

The little smile that appeared on Rosalie's mouth was enough to keep me from getting totally embarrassed. If my verbal fireworks could make her feel a little better, then fine by me.

"What I mean is," I said after a moment, "I like being here with you. But why did we run away from home?"

To my surprise, she let out a soft chuckle, her eyes softening. "And here I had hoped I could just distract you with enough pretty clothes to make you forget all about it."

"Maybe if _you_  were wearing them, yeah," I blurted.

Her slim eyebrows lifted, though she didn't seem surprised, exactly. Of course, she didn't. How could she? But something in her expression shifted in such a way that woke up my butterflies yet again. "What _would_  you like to see me in?"

"Uhhh..." was my incredibly intelligent reply. 

Rosalie just waited for my reply, her smile growing. She looked like a cat that had stolen the cream. 

"Umm." Gah. _Think, brain. Think!_  My eyes darted around the store, pausing here and there at the possibilities when I really should have been asking her if she was serious. There was a pink, flowing dress that would make her look a princess, or maybe this lace-trimmed mini-dress that would probably make anyone who saw her (myself included) turn into one of those whistling, cartoon wolves with the steam coming out of their ears.

Honestly, there was nothing in this place that Rosalie wouldn't look like an angel in.

"Well?" she asked with a knowing tone. She had me right where she wanted me.

"I..." I shook my head and closed my eyes, blocking out her beautiful face and the beautiful garments around us. I even held my breath so that I wouldn't be distracted by her scent. I needed to think clearly about this. 

The facts were these: Rosalie had brought me here on a whim. I loved that she had, but the circumstances surrounding everything were a little weird, considering her shortened vacation. Not to mention how reluctant she seemed to talk about anything.

After a few seconds, I opened my eyes. 

Rosalie was watching me carefully, her beautiful smugness swiped away in favor of an almost cautious expression. 

"You don't have to tell me why we left," I told her. We were still standing so close that this next part should have been harder for me to say, but somehow, the nearness of her made the whole thing seem more natural. Inevitable, maybe. "But I think something's bothering you. And I think that talking about it might help a little, you know?"

Rosalie didn't reply.

"I mean, you could just say whatever it is you want to say, and even if I said something stupid back, you could just roll your eyes and get mad at me for being so dumb." I offered her a smile. "That would make you feel better, too, right?"

To my surprise, Rosalie laughed quietly. The sound was like tinkling bells in the distance. "Jessica Stanley, you are without a doubt, the most ridiculous and wonderful creature I've ever encountered."

"Thanks, I--" I began.

But then suddenly Rosalie was moving forward, and even if I knew this would make me forget about the conversation that we really should have been having, I didn't stop her. 

Her lips crashed into mine, and the sound of something like a thunderclap filled the large room. My arms went around her, and her arms circled me -- or maybe it was the other way around. Somehow, it seemed like the two of us were moving separately _and_  together, as two and as one.

Suddenly the world tasted like honey and lilac, and my mind swirled with the sensations of it all. 

Rosalie's body was pressed into mine so tightly that it was hard to know where I stopped and she began, but I wanted to be even closer, to fold the two of us together until neither of us could breathe and--

Wait. Neither of us _could_  breathe.

I almost wanted to laugh, not because it was that funny, but because I had to do something with all the feelings swirling inside me. Instead, I just kept kissing her.

Eventually, one or both of us pulled away slowly, breaking the kiss, though our arms were still looped around one another. She planted a soft, gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. When I moved to deepen the kiss again, she leaned her head away slightly. But the sweet smile on her face stopped me from feeling too disappointed. 

"I've wanted to do that for a very long time," she told me, her voice a sweet melody in the quiet emptiness of the store. 

"Me too," I admitted. "I mean, probably not as long for you as for me."

She tilted her head. "Oh?"

I glanced away for a moment, then, like a magnet, my gaze was pulled back to her golden eyes. "I mean, everybody who meets you must have some kind of crush on you, right?"

Her tone was less warm now. "I suppose."

"No offense, but that wasn't me. I mean, not at Forks High."

Her smile reappeared. "Really, now? Should I be offended?"

"What?  No, I mean... I just... It's just that, back then, I didn't know you or anything, you know? I knew _of_  you, obviously. I mean, who didn't? But back then, you were just this beautiful girl." Understatement of the century, of course. The way that Rosalie looked, she could never "just" be beautiful. I took a second to gather my thoughts before finishing, "You were gorgeous, but I never really felt like I saw the real you. Not like now. Before I got to know you,  you were just like untouchable, you know?"

"And now?" she asked, her tone light as her finger traced an infinity loop against the small of my back. "Am I still untouchable?"

I gasped, shivering at the sensation. 

Her smile widened, making it obvious how much she liked the effect she was having on me.

"N-now," I stuttered, struggling to keep my brain in working order at the touch of her hand, "well,  now you're just... Rosalie. I mean, not that you aren't beautiful, because duh, of course, you are. But it's more than that. You're just... You. You know?" I wrinkled my nose, hoping I didn't sound as silly as I felt.

Instead of replying, Rosalie pulled me into another long kiss. One of her arms tightened around me, so hard that it would have crushed me if I were still human. But now, with the two of us as strong as we were, it was perfect. Her hand wandered upward and her fingers tangled through my hair, pulling my face even closer to hers and deepening our kiss.

I don't know how long it took me to realize that I should have needed to come up for air, then to remember that I no longer needed to. 

All I had to do was stand here, tangled up with Rosalie, our limbs intertwined and our mouths searching, neither one of us wanting to think about when this would have to end.

For now, it was just us two, and we had hours until dawn.


End file.
